Rumbelle -- We'll Do This Together
by AlwaysHopelessRomantic95
Summary: <html><head></head>After their wedding, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin struggle with the loss of Rumple's son Baelfire. Just when they reach the point of despair, Rumple has an idea. What if he can bring Bae back to life? There has to be a way! Thus begins Rumbelle's quest to find someone powerful enough to return their beloved Baelfire to them.</html>
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Belle yawned and rolled over in bed to look at the clock over her left shoulder. 3:44AM. He was still awake. _Another sleepless night_, she thought sadly, and frowned to herself. She considered going back to sleep, but something told her she ought to try again. But she tried every night, and she never got anywhere. Tonight, though, something told her it would be different.

As she laid there considering what to do, she listened to the rain as it plinked on the rooftop, willing herself to bring back the dream she'd been having. What had woken up? She considered that as she drew the fluffy sheets up to her chin, wondering if she had somehow known that tonight was the night she would get her answers. If, perhaps, she woke up for a reason.

As soon as she considered that, though, she dispelled that hope from her mind. _You won't get anywhere, _she told herself. _You'll just be disappointed again. Your bed is warm, dawn is still far away. Go back to sleep. _

Now that her thoughts were rolling, however, she knew she couldn't go back to sleep. Not after the dream she'd been having. Why do we always wake up from the good dreams? She couldn't banish that thought from her mind, but knew also that she'd not be able to return to that peaceful dreamland. Her dream had been of a life she'd held once, long ago. A life whose memories she cherished, but a life that was lost to her now, replaced by one more mysterious and challenging, but one she wouldn't give up for the world.

_Well,_ _might as well try, what have I got to lose?_ She thought as she rolled back over to face her husband, knowing what to expect, but hoping against hope she was wrong.

"You're awake, aren't you?" She didn't get an answer right away. "Rumple, you didn't sleep any last night either. Please tell me what's bothering you."

Again, she didn't get her answer, just a heavy sigh from the other side of the bed. When she was about ready to give up and say something, she was surprised by the sound of his familiar voice. "It's nothing darling, please go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

Belle tried not to be disappointed in his lack of an answer, telling herself she hadn't really expected him to confide in her. _At least he said something, _she thought, attempting to be optimistic. All she could think to say was "you didn't wake me."

"No?" he said, faintly amused. "Then what did?" Whether he was amused with himself or her, she couldn't be sure.

Gathering her courage, Belle sat up and looked him in the eyes. "I'm not sure, but we need to talk. Maybe I woke up because we need to have a serious conversation." As she talked, her confidence grew, and she sat up straighter, ignoring the chill of the dark room.

"Oh Belle," he sighed, "it's almost 4AM. Can't we do this later? Go back to sleep darling." He tried to smile at her, but the smile came out looking sad. He upset that he was distressing her. She was always so perceptive, knowing when something was wrong. But telling her what he felt, that wouldn't make it better. That wouldn't bring back his son. He'd much rather suffer in silence.

Belle saw the sadness in his eyes when he tried to smile, and for the first time she realized just how cold she was. Without knowing she was doing it, she pulled the covers up to her chin, blinking back tears, but never taking her eyes from his face.

"No, Rumple, we're going to do this now. I know something is bothering you, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. We're a family now Rumpelstiltskin, and you have to let me in. I know it's hard for you to talk about your feelings, and I know you don't tell me things because you think it will keep me safe. But it won't. Secrets only hurt people Rumple, you should know that better than anyone." She hadn't realized she was going to say that much until the words were already out of her mouth.

Rumple stared at her, surprised she's been so outright. The look on her face told him she was surprised by her words as well, and she finally looked away, glancing down toward the end of the bed.

After a long pause, he muttered "you're right."

She looked back up at him then, her face a mixture of stunned surprise and muted happiness. "I am?" She spouted without thinking, and he smiled. This time, the smile was closer to genuine. "I mean, I know I'm right. Just tell me what's bothering you, and let me help you." At that, he smiled even more, and put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him as he thought about what to say.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear as he gently kissed her head.

Belle knew he was stalling, and was determined to get an answer out of him, but she couldn't help smiling and blushing a little despite herself. _Will I ever get used to this married thing? _

She shook her head slightly, forcing herself not to be distracted, and brought her thoughts back to the problem at hand. _Focus, _she thought, _focus. _She wasn't going to fall for his delay tactics.

"If you love me, tell me what's wrong. Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Oh, that's not a fair play," he complained.

She grinned, happy that she knew how to get to him. She pulled herself away a little bit so she could look straight in his eyes, knowing she didn't need any more words. She gave him one of her infamous "I'm not falling for this" look, and he laughed.

"I know that look," he smiled, then said "I'm not getting out of this am I?" He sighed as she shook her head, her brown hair swinging back and forth, the look on her face looking for all the world like a parent chastising a child.

"I just….. I just miss him, Belle." He hadn't really meant to say that, it just came out. Embarrassed, he couldn't bring himself to keep holding her gaze, and so he looked away.

She knew what that meant. She whispered, "Neal", trying to hold back tears of her own. Trying, and failing.

He nodded slowly. "Bae. I spent so many years trying to find him, so many years of my life trying to get back to him. And just when I finally think I have him back, he falls through a portal and I lose him again. Then, I find out he's alive, and we make amends. I finally think I have my son back for good, and that witch takes him away from me."

Belle looked at her husband's face, and saw in his eyes an expression she never thought she'd see on him: vulnerability. She hoped he'd keep talking, but then she realized why he had stopped. He didn't want her to see him cry.

Belle leaned over and wrapped her arms around his chest, trying to be as much of a comfort as she could, knowing it wouldn't be enough. He hugged her back, wanting to take comfort in her, but afraid of giving away too much. Afraid of letting her too far in.

After several long minutes, Rumple sighed again, and looked at the girl he held in his arms. He decided he'd have to be honest with her, it was the only way they could make this work. She'd said _we're a family now, Rumpelstiltskin. _That made him happier than he could every say, but it scared him, too. He'd lost everything he'd ever loved, and he couldn't bear to lose her too.

"Searching for Bae, it gave my life a purpose. It gave me something to fight for, something to look forward to. I knew I'd see him again one day, I had hope. Whenever I gave into the darkness, gave into the power, I could tell myself that I was doing it for Baelfire. I was doing it for my son. But now…"

He trailed off, and a lone tear fell down his face as Belle looked up at him. She smiled a sad, knowing smile, and wiped the tear off his cheek with the sleeve of her cotton nightshirt. "Now you have something else to fight for."

"And what is that?" he asked, thinking he already knew the answer.

She surprised him by saying "yourself". Seeing the look of confusion on his face, she wiped away her own tears and sat up straighter. "All Baelfire wanted was for you to be a better man. The man you were before you were the Dark One. He knew as well as I do that there is a man behind the monster, and he wanted to see you embrace that side of you.

"So honor his memory Rumple. Become the man you know you can be, the man he'd want you to be. The man I know you can be. Do it for yourself, do it for me, but most of all, do it for Baelfire."

Looking into her imploring blue eyes, Rumple didn't want to disappoint her. But he couldn't bring himself to lie to her, either, so he settled for somewhere in the middle.

"I don't know if I can do that, Belle. I don't know if I can let go."

"Of course you can. You said it yourself, you don't have anything left to fight for. So what do you need power for? You can let go of the power, let go of the hold it has on you. Trust me, you'll be glad you did."

"It's not that easy, Belle. If I give up the power, I give up myself. My power has become a part of me, and I don't know what I'd be without it."

He looked so earnest, and Belle took heart from that. It meant he was willing to listen to her, willing to try to change. "I know what you'd be," she smiled, "my husband."

He laughed, and this time it was a true laugh, accompanied by a smile that lit up his eyes. "Look who's toying with words now," he teased, and she laughed, wiping away the last of her tears and hugging him tighter.

"Don't you feel better now?" she implored, smiling as she rested her head against his shoulder.

He didn't answer, because he didn't know how he felt. He was glad that he told her, she had a right to know how he felt. But saying it out loud, he hadn't realized until he said it, but it made it all too real. Telling Belle that he had nothing left to fight for made him realize that he really had lost his son, and that he would never see Baelfire again.

"Rumple, you're still thinking." It wasn't a question. How could she see so easily into his soul? "I know you're sad, but we'll get through it. We'll find a way, it will be okay, I promise." She paused to make sure he was really listening to her. When she glanced up at his face, the look in his eyes told her all of his focus was on her, and, satisfied, she continued. "You know what? I'll make you a deal."

"Be careful dearie," he said with a little smile, "don't get yourself into a deal you won't want to break."

"Oh, I won't," she promised, "I know what deals mean to you. And I'll make you one. We will find a way for you to honor Baelfire and put the past behind you, or I'll make you breakfast in bed every morning," she said with a carefree laugh that reminded him of better days.

"That's no deal," he protested, "you do that anyway!"

Her eyes lit up as she smiled up at him and said, "yes, but only because we just got married. How long do you think that novelty will last?"

His grin widened as he marveled at this girl that was now his, the only one to truly bring such light into his life. "You have to work in the morning," he said, changing the subject, "go back to sleep, Mrs. Gold."

Belle sat up again, looking into her husband's eyes, wondering if he knew how much she loved to hear him call her that.

Rumple looked into her beautiful blue eyes, trying to hold back his tears as he realized, not for the first time, that he'd found something truly special in this girl. This time, his tears were happy ones.

She felt heat rising into her cheeks, she never could help blushing when he looked at her like that. The same expression he'd had when they got married, one of pure joy and love. One that, sadly, he hadn't worn very many times in his life. One that showed her there really was a man behind the monster, a man she wished everyone could see, wished everyone knew him as she did.

"Good night, Rumpelstiltskin," she murmured, as she leaned it to give him a kiss.

She kissed him slowly, letting her mind linger on the turns her life had taken since she'd first met the Dark One.

He kissed her back, putting his hand on her cheek, and marveling that he could still feel so protective of someone, realizing that he might just have someone to fight for after all.

As Belle laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, Rumple made a promise to her. It was a promise he should have made long ago, one he should be willing to tell her every day. But he wasn't. He didn't have the courage to say it out loud, for he couldn't risk disappointing himself by letting her down. He would never forgive himself if he disappointed the most important person in his life. _I will be a better man, Belle. I'll do it for Baelfire, I'll do it for myself, but most of all, I'll do it for you. I promise._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Belle awoke with a start, finding herself alone in the bed. She looked toward the doors that lead to the balcony of their room, finding them open. No wonder it was so cold in the room, fall was setting in and the doors had let in a crisp morning breeze.

Belle lay back down, not yet ready to leave the warmth of her bed to start the day. Then she remembered something Rumple had said to her last night, _you have work in the morning. _She could hear his voice in her head, and smiled at herself.

Had he actually said that, or had she dreamt it? As she pondered that, she recalled all that had been said between them as they lay awake last night. Surely that hadn't been a dream? It seemed real enough.

Belle began to drift back to sleep, but then she realized what she had thought. _You have work in the morning. _Crap, the library! Today was the opening day, and she was still in bed! She started to throw the covers off, and jumped when she heard a laugh coming from the window.

When she looked up, she saw her husband walking in the doors, holding a tray of food and smiling at her. "Good morning Mrs. Gold," he said politely, and, as he expected, she blushed.

"I'm going to be late for work!" she exclaimed, and frowned at him when he simply laughed.

"You didn't think I'd let you sleep in did you?"

She glanced at the clock next to her bed, it was only 7:10. She didn't have to be at the library until 9. Sighing with relief, she sat back against her pillows, and stared questioningly at the man standing in the doorway.

Rumple smiled, and said "why do you think I opened the doors? You wouldn't sleep through that breeze, no one would."

"Kind of a rude awakening, don't you think?" she retorted, slightly annoyed that he was enjoying this so much.

"Maybe, so I made you breakfast to make up for it. Can't have Storybrooke's new librarian going hungry on the first day on the job now can we?"

"Oh, look at you," she smirked, "the Dark One being domestic. I'd laugh if I wasn't so tired."

"Well, you bring me breakfast in bed every morning, so I thought I'd repay the favor this morning, in honor of your first day at work."

Though she tried to hide it, a smile managed to peak its way to the corners of her mouth, and soon they were both laughing. Sitting the tray beside her on the bed, Rumple sat down and took his wife in his arms.

"Belle, about last night…" he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what.

Sensing his discomfort, she said simply, "I'm glad you told me."

They sat in silence for a while, neither one wanting to break the momentary peace between them. Finally, knowing this moment couldn't last forever, Rumple said "you best start eating. You don't want to be late for work."

Belle sighed into his shoulder, and then reluctantly withdrew herself from his embrace. Picking up the tray he had set on the bed, she began to eat.

After getting dressed and doing her makeup, Belle walked out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. She went into the pawn shop to look for her husband and say goodbye before she headed to the library.

Hoping to find Rumple alone, she was disappointed when she walked in and David Nolan was at the counter. The two appeared to be in the middle of a heated conversation, so she considered just leaving, but she'd already been seen.

"Hey Belle," David said, "shouldn't you be at the library?"

"I'm on my way out," she began, not knowing how to finish her sentence. What could she say, I walked in here to say goodbye to my husband? She didn't want to embarrass herself, but it was too late to just turn and walk out.

Thankfully, Rumple saved her by saying "I have some work to do at the shop this morning, Belle, but I'll come visit you at the library around lunch."

Surprised, and momentarily forgetting about David, Belle said "You're coming by the library?"

Rumple smiled at her, one of his rare, true smiles that he reserved just for her. "Of course, I wouldn't miss the grand opening. Now, hurry up and get there, it's already 8:45."

Not knowing what to say, Belle held his gaze for a while. Then, remembering David was there, she glanced at him, blushed, muttered a hurried "see you later," and rushed out the door.

The walk to the library wasn't a long one, and Belle rounded the corner toward the door at exactly 8:52. Putting the key in the lock and ready to open up, she turned around in surprise when she heard someone call her name.

"Belle!" The voice she knew well, and smiled as Henry hurried up toward the door. "It's almost 9, am I late?"

"Late for what, Henry?" She asked, smiling, "We'll be open all day."

"I know, I know," he panted. "But I wanted to be your first customer."

"Oh! No, you're just on time then. Come on in!" Turing back toward the door, she pushed it open and smiled at the familiar creak of the door. She walked over to the circulation desk and turned on all the lights, watching with amusement as Henry browsed through the books on the shelves.

"The library was quite a mess when I got here," Belle confided, "and after the mess with Hook I had some serious reorganizing to do. If you're looking for a particular book, I put them in alphabetical order by author last name."

"Do you have them sorted by genre?" Henry asked as he stared up at the mountain of books in front of him. "How did you manage to sort them all?"

He sounded so amazed, and Belle couldn't help but laugh. "I had a lot of free time."

"Oh, congrats on the wedding by the way."

Henry's comment was so unexpected and nonchalant that Belle was momentarily caught off guard. "Why… why thank you, Henry," she stammered, not really sure what else to say.

Amazingly, the kid had a gift for conversation. Walking up to the desk with a confused look on his face, he said, "so, does that make you, what, my step-grandmother?"

"You're…. well, yes, I guess it does," Belle wasn't exactly sure how she felt about that.

"Cool," Henry said with a grin. "Well, I gotta go, but I'll come back here often, promise! Have a good opening day!" And with that he was rushing out the door, and Belle couldn't help but remember how it felt to be so young, to have so much energy.

Trying to put her past behind her, she began to clean off the desk and await the next of her visitors to the newly opened Storybrooke library.

The library had a steady stream of guests come in and out throughout the morning, both customers who wanted books and familiar faces who had come in to wish Belle good luck and see the library themselves.

Of the latter group, the person she was most pleased to see that morning was Ruby. Her old friend had helped her on many occasions before, most memorably when she and Rumple had been going through a tough time. It was Red who first thought of the library as a possible place of employment for Belle, and she owed her a lot.

"The place looks amazing Belle, how did you do it?"

Deciding to use the same explanation she gave Henry, Belle shrugged, "I had a lot of free time."

"Well, you were certainly meant to be a librarian, that's for sure!"

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, Ruby," Belle said truthfully, hoping her friend knew how much this place meant to her.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Ruby laughed, and then winked, "but you're welcome."

"No, I mean it," Belle protested. "I owe you one."

Ruby shook her head. "I just mentioned it. Mr. Gold was the one who gave you the key."

Belle couldn't argue with that, so she just let it drop. The two of them continued their idle small talk for a while as people strolled in and out of the library, checking out books and wishing Belle the best.

After a time, Ruby sighed, "well, I have to go. It's almost lunch hour, and Granny will kill me if I'm not back by then."

"I doubt she'd kill you," Belle teased, and then laughed as her friend hugged her before making her way out of the library.

With a sigh, Belle remembered Rumple's promise from that morning. _I'll come visit you at the library around lunch. _So where was he?

As if on cue, the door to the library creaked open and Rumple made his way into the library and up to the circulation desk.

"You came!" Belle exclaimed.

"Well don't sound so surprised," he muttered in mock offense. "I said I would be here, and I always keep my word."

"Do you?" she teased, and smiled at the fake horror on his face.

"Of course I do! Anyway, I thought you might be hungry, so I brought some lunch. I thought maybe we could have lunch together before you go back to work?

Belle couldn't keep herself from grinning, and pulled a stool up to the desk so he could sit. As they ate, people continued to come in and check out books, and occasionally Belle had to get up and show people where a particular book was located.

"You seem to keep busy," Rumple noted.

"Well," she said, "it is the first day. People are coming in to check out books just because they never could before. Not that I'm complaining," she added with a grin. "Anyway, what did David want this morning?"

"Oh that? It was nothing," Rumple said, brushing it off and not expecting her to notice.

She noticed. "That look, I know that look," she said, not pleased. "It wasn't nothing." It wasn't a question. She was good at that. Lowering her voice so only he could hear her, she murmured, "Rumple, I thought we went over this last night. You can tell me anything."

In the dim lighting of the library, she thought his face got a little bit darker. "I will tell you, Belle. But not here. Not now." He glanced around nervously, looking at a few library patrons who were engrossed in their search for a book. "It's for your ears only. I'll tell you tonight."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he said, as he took her hand in his, "no more secrets between us."

Belle began to smile, and then jumped when someone coughed behind Rumple. He quickly dropped her hand and moved out of the way, and Belle saw there were three people in line behind him waiting to check out books.

Hoping they hadn't heard that, Rumple looked at Belle and said "I have to get back to the shop now, Belle. But I'll see you this evening."

"Goodbye," she said, wanting to say more, wishing fervently that the other people weren't there.

Rumple smiled at her, and with that he was gone. With a sigh, Belle turned to face her next customer and resigned herself to waiting for the evening to get her answer.

When evening finally came and Belle's stream of visitors thinned to none, she decided it was time to head home. She desperately wanted to get back to the shop, for she wanted to know what Rumple and David had been talking about, but she was scared, too. The look he had in his eyes when she had asked him earlier made her uncomfortable, and she wasn't sure she was ready to end the seeming peace they'd had between them since the wedding.

Preoccupied by her thoughts, Belle methodically went about closing up the library and putting things away. When she had finished, she turned off the lights, walked outside, and locked the door behind her as she started to make her way home.

As she walked, the autumn leaves crunched under her feet, and she hugged her jacket closer to her chest. Fall was setting over Storybrooke, and soon it would be winter. The Maine winter was not something she looked forward to, but what other choice did she have?

The more Belle walked the more she thought, and each thought turned into a worry, each darker than its predecessor. By the time she reached the shop, she was half way convinced that her world was going to end, but she realized how futile it was to worry. Nonetheless, she stopped outside the door, trying to prepare herself for whatever was coming. _Might as well go in and face it,_ she thought to herself, _worrying isn't going to fix anything. _And with that, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Breathing in the familiarly musty air of the pawn shop, Belle tried to calm herself down while also preparing herself for the worst.

"You're back!" Rumple exclaimed, a smile creeping on to his face. "How did the rest of the day go at the library?" He asked out of courtesy, but he could tell by the look on Belle's face that her day was not what she wanted to talk about.

Without saying a word, Belle walked up to the counter, looked Rumple in the eyes, and waited for him to tell her what had happened that morning.

"You want to know about my talk with Mr. Nolan this morning, don't you?" Not expecting a response, for he already knew the answer, Rumple decided to give her the truth. "Mr. Nolan came in seeking a job for Henry. He said Henry is interested in spending time with me, now that we know we are family. Mr. Nolan, however, didn't want Henry to come here himself, and he also mentioned that Henry wanted to be the first person at the library this morning, so he came instead."

Belle laughed, "yeah, he did. He was my first customer, and he was very excited about it, too. But you two seemed unhappy this morning, that doesn't make any sense. And why couldn't you have told me that at the library?"

"You're right. Mr. Nolan was not happy with me this morning because I told him I would love to have Henry come help at the shop from time to time, but that is going to have to wait."

"Wait? For what?"

"I'm leaving Storybrooke for a while, Belle."

For a moment, all Belle could do was stare at him, thinking she heard wrong. "You're what? You can't be serious-"

"Belle, let me explain. I'm leaving Storybrooke because I think I may have found a way to bring Baelfire back."

Belle was shocked. She just stood there, staring at him in stunned silence, then said, "And you're telling me this why? Bring him back, Rumple don't you know how he died? He died to bring you back to life, you can't bring someone back from the dead without giving a life in return. You don't seriously think I'll let you do that do you?"

As she talked, Rumple was shaking his head, and when she finished he said, "No, you're right, I can't bring someone back from the dead. But there is someone who can." Seeing she still didn't understand, he continued. "He's back in our land. He's a very powerful wizard, and I think he may have the key to bringing Bae. Belle, I can't just give up. I've spent my whole life searching for Baelfire, and if there is a way to bring him back, I'm going to find it."

"There isn't a way, Rumple. When Neal and I tried to bring you back, the only possible way was to sacrifice Neal's life. Of course he didn't know that's what he was doing, but it's the only way."

"No, that's just what you were told. Zelena wanted you to bring me back for her, and didn't want to sacrifice her own life. So she told you that was the only way to bring someone back from the dead, but it isn't."

"And how exactly did you find out about this wizard? You lived in the Enchanted Forest for years, and you're only finding out about him now?"

Quite pleased with himself, Rumple smiled mischievously. "Things have changed a lot in the Enchanted Forest, with the myriad of curses over the past three decades. This wizard didn't live in the Enchanted Forest before, or I would have known. I was the most powerful wizard there at the time, but things have changed. As to how I found out about him, well, I took a lesson from you."

Belle's questioning look made Rumple even more excited, and he said, "I read Henry's book. It tells the story of the Enchanted Forest, and so I read what happened there after the curse and after Ms. Swan and that pirate returned from the past. The curses and their little trip back in time changed things. Henry's book now tells of a very powerful magician, and I believe he can help bring my boy back to me."

It took a while for Belle to absorb everything she had just heard. Go back to their land? Bring Baelfire back from the dead? Is such a thing even possible? She had so many questions, but she didn't know what to say, so she just stared at him.

When the silence got awkward, Rumple felt the need to say something. He walked around the counter, put his hands around her waist, and said, "Belle, I know this is a lot, but I have to do this. Bae gave his life for me, and if I have a chance to bring him back, I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try."

That got through to her, and Belle put her arms on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. He looked so desperate, but so excited. _Like a kid on Christmas, _she thought, sure that was the only time someone had ever thought that about Rumpelstiltskin.

"Are you going to say something?" He asked finally, hoping she wasn't going to be upset.

"I… I don't know what to say, Rumple," she confessed.

He surprised her, then, by saying, "then say you'll come with me."

Belle's jaw dropped, and again she stared at him in stunned silence. After a few seconds, she shook her head slightly, and he smiled at the way her hair fell off her shoulders. She said, "You want me to come with you? By the way you were talking I thought…"

"You thought I was going to leave you here." He said, the smile slowly fading from his face.

She nodded. "Every other time you've gone off on some mission or other, I've had to stay behind. But of course I'll come with you!"

That brought his smile back, and he said, "I hope you understand why I couldn't let you come with me to Neverland. But as you said last night, we are family now, Belle, and I could really use your help. I have to do this, I have to do my best for my boy. But I want to do right by you too, Belle. I thought about leaving you here, for you would be a lot safer here than with me. But I owe it to you to honor your wish, and I knew you'd want to come with me."

Belle didn't know what to say, and she blinked back tears as she tried to collect her thoughts.

Deciding to be entirely honest with his newlywed wife, Rumple continued. "I'll need you in the Enchanted Forest, Belle. I needed you in Neverland too, but I couldn't put you through that. But… You're the only one who can keep me from returning to the man I used to be, and I can't risk becoming that man again. The Enchanted Forest will certainly hold many challenges and temptations for me, and if you don't come with me…"

Belle finished his sentence for him. "You're afraid you'll give up the search for the wizard out of self-interest. Well, you don't have to worry about that, because I am coming with you, and I know who you truly are. I know who you can be, and I'll be right there with you the whole way."

Wondering how he got lucky enough to have a girl like this, Rumple blinked back tears of his own and smiled at his wife. "Thank you, Belle."

Deciding she'd said all that needed to be said, Belle smiled and kissed her husband, looking forward for a chance to go on an adventure with the man she loved. She was excited, but she was scared, too. But no matter what they had been through together, their love had always prevailed, and she had to believe that it would prevail this time, too.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

That night it was Belle's turn to lay in bed awake, wondering, not for the first time, what the future had in store for her. When she had gotten married, she hadn't really thought about what it might mean for her. She never figured they'd be leaving Storybrooke so soon, let alone to go back to their own land. Was such a thing even possible?

She'd admit it would be nice to get away; their honeymoon had been nice, but far too brief. They hadn't really escaped their everyday lives to just be together, which was all she really wanted.

With a sigh, Belle decided lying in bed feeling sorry for herself wasn't going to get her anywhere, so she got up and strolled over to the window. Her bare footsteps on the cold marble floor hardly made a sound, but somehow he heard her.

"Belle?" Although it was too dark for her to see much of anything, Belle knew the sleepy voice had come from the direction of the bed. As she turned back around, she heard the covers rustling as her husband slowly sat up.

"Belle, what are you doing up?" He sounded confused and a bit worried. "Last night you were lecturing me on not getting enough sleep, and now look at you." That last part came out with more amused sarcasm than worry.

"I, I just couldn't sleep, I guess," Belle whispered, hoping he wouldn't ask any questions. She didn't want to tell him she was worried about his "quest" idea. How could she? The only thing he had ever truly wanted in life was to find his son, so how could she admit that she wanted him to run away with her, wanted them to just live their lives in peace? That would mean giving up the search for his son, and she couldn't ask him to do that.

_Look who is keeping secrets now, _she thought bitterly. It wasn't that she didn't want to help Rumple find Baelfire; she did, it was just that she was afraid. Afraid of losing him. She desperately wanted to go on an adventure and be a hero next to her newlywed husband, but she was afraid of what might happen if they failed. If they found Rumple's "wizard" and he couldn't bring Neal back? She didn't want to think of how Rumple might react if that happened. Or if they never found him at all? She knew he'd spend the rest of his life looking if he had to, and although she looked forward to an adventure, she didn't want it to consume the rest of their lives. _No,_ she told herself. _That's not going to happen_. She couldn't let herself think that way.

When the silence between them started to get awkward, Rumple said, "Well, come back to bed, sweetheart. You'll freeze standing there by the window in your nightgown."

Reluctantly, Belle made her way slowly back to the bed. She sat down, and, though she couldn't see him very clearly, she could feel Rumple's eyes on her. She struggled to avoid his gaze, not wanting to talk.

"Belle, we need to stop making a habit of having midnight heart-to-hearts. It's not very healthy," Rumple said with a grin, one that Belle never saw. She was staring off into the distance, with a spacy look in her eyes that Rumple hadn't seen there before.

Realizing she wasn't going to say anything, Rumple said, "If you want to talk, though, I'm listening. If not, I'm here for that, too. But please don't torture yourself Belle, it's painful to watch."

Belle was surprised; she'd always thought she was the one who could see into his soul, but now she found that he could read hers as well. Somewhat comforted by the fact that he sounded so caring, Belle decided to be honest. She didn't want to tell him how she felt, but she figured not doing so wasn't fair, either. After all, how could she expect honesty from him and hold back herself?

"I'm just worried, Rumple."

Rumple looked at her with a concerning gaze, and moved over to put his arm around her shoulders. "There's nothing to be concerned about darling. What's bothering you so much?"

Sighing, Belle turned her bright blue eyes on her husband, and saw that he genuinely didn't think she'd have a reason to be concerned. "What if…" She started, then paused, thinking of how best to say what was on her mind. "What if we go to look for Baelfire, and we can't bring him back? What if we fail, Rumple?" There, she said it. Not for the first time, she was surprised she had been so candid.

Rumple looked at her in utter misunderstanding. "How could we fail?"

He really didn't get it. "I mean, what if there is no way to bring him back? What will you do?"

"Well, I don't know what I'd do. But don't worry about me, Belle. We'll find a way, I know we will."

When Belle searched his face, she found that he wasn't just saying that to make her feel better, he honestly believed that. He honestly believed there was no way he could fail.

"Of course I'm going to worry about you Rumple," she whispered. Then, a bit louder, she added "we're a family now, remember?" Then, with a bit more sarcasm, she laughed, "I'm your wife now, it's my job to worry about you."

Rumple laughed, the first genuine, hearty laugh she'd heard from him in a long time. "Alright," he said, "fair enough. But really Belle, we will succeed." Seeing that she wasn't convinced, he searched for the right words to convince her.

"When we met," he said, "when you first kissed me, what did I do? I sent you away. I was afraid. I was a coward, Belle, a monster. But somehow you saw right through that. You told me yourself you were going to come back for me, that you never stopped loving me. And as hard as it was for me to admit it, I never stopped loving you, either. Now, after what I did, why didn't you give up on me?"

"Because Rumple," she said, not getting where he was going. "I believed in you. I believed you could change, I believed you were capable of opening yourself up again, and I loved you." Losing herself in memories of her past, Belle suddenly found herself caught in the life they once shared, however brief it may have been. Despite herself, Belle couldn't keep from shedding a tear as she remembered the time they had spent together, so thankful that she finally had him at last, had him here with her now. She leaned into her husband's arms and smiled as he wiped the tear from her face.

Forcing herself back into the here and now, Belle looked up at him, and asked, "Why were you wondering?"

"Because now I'm asking you to believe in me once again," he murmured as he held her to him. "You believed in me then, and I'm asking you to believe in me again now." He paused to look at her before adding, "Do you remember what you said to me in the car, right before I was going to leave to look for Baelfire the first time?" he asked.

Nodding, she smiled and said, "When you find something that's worth fighting for, you never give up." Now she saw where he was going.

"That's right," Rumple smiled back at her. "You taught me that, and I won't forget it. Finding my son, Belle, that's what I have to fight for. This is something I have to do, and I can't fail. I will find a way to get my boy back, and then we can be happy."

"Are you not happy, Rumple?" Belle asked, disappointed that he couldn't find his happiness with her.

Rumple saw he'd made a mistake, knew what Belle was trying to say. "Oh, Belle," he sighed, "That's not what I meant. Of course I'm happy here with you, but… I just feel like something is missing."

Belle didn't trust herself to respond, not wanting to show him just how much emotion she was trying to hold in.

Feeling her tense up in his arms, Rumple said, "I failed my son once. I failed him, and regretted it for the rest of my life. Once I found him again, he was so angry. He had every right to be angry with me, and he was." Rumple paused, considering how to phrase the complicated relationship he had with his son. "But, after a while, we made amends, at least got to the point of being civil to each other again, but I still owed him. I owed him so much Belle, and I never got to pay. I never got to repay him for the wrong I'd done him, and then it was too late. I lost him. He gave his life, gave it to save _me. _He owed me nothing, and yet he paid the ultimate sacrifice. Now, I must find a way to honor that sacrifice. I must find a way to repay the lifelong debt I owed my son, or I don't think I could ever forgive myself."

"Is that what this is about Rumple? Seeking forgiveness?"

"It's not something I've been very good at Belle, as you well know. But I can only hope that if, somehow, I can bring Baelfire back, he'd forgive me, so I could forgive myself."

Without hesitation, Belle said "he would. He would forgive you, I know it."

Slightly amused despite himself, Rumple laughed, "and what makes you so sure?"

Belle sat up again so she could look into his eyes, and, putting her hand gently on the side of his face, said, "Because you deserve it. You spent so long looking for him, you gave up so much to try to be with him. You were even willing to give your life to save his son. You've become a better man, Rumple, I know it. And if I can see it, Baelfire would, too. He'd forgive you, I know he would."

Rumple wanted to believe her, but he couldn't let himself give in to hope that easily. Hope is too easily shattered. "No, Belle," he said, "_you_ would forgive me. You always have, that's who you are. But I can't know that Baelfire would feel the same way."

"Do you know why I forgive you when you make a mistake?" Belle asked genuinely. Rumple shook his head slightly, so she continued, "Because I love you. And Baelfire loved you, too. Of course he was angry when you were first reunited, but he loved you, Rumple. And love means forgiving the other person when they make a mistake. It means being willing to accept their faults and their past, and moving on."

Rumple smiled down at her, saying, "Are you talking about Baelfire or yourself?"

Belle giggled, "Both, I suppose. But trust me, he would have forgiven you."

Rumple sighed, not sure if he liked where this conversation was headed. "I hope so," he whispered to himself. Then, louder, he said, "Belle, I know you are trying to make this easier for me, and I appreciate that, I really do. But you do understand I still have to do this, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she said without hesitation. "I just want to make sure that you won't end up getting hurt."

"Well, if we fail, it would break my heart," he said. "But," he added, "I wouldn't be as bad off as I was the first time I lost my son."

Hoping she already knew the answer, Belle still asked, "why not?"

Looking down into her beautiful eyes, Rumple said, "Because this time I still have love in my life. I have something other than pain. I have you."

"That's right, you do," Belle said as she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "And don't you forget it. This time, I'll be with you the whole way. This time, we'll do this together."

And with that, the two of them realized what their wedding vows truly meant. They were a commitment to be there for each other, which meant that neither of them had to face the world alone anymore. Neither of them had to be afraid, because as long as they lived, they'd have each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day was a slow one at the library, and given the small amount of sleep she'd managed to get the night before, Belle found herself starting to nod off while she sat at the circulation desk. A few people had come in occasionally, but the traffic today was slow.

To pass the time, Belle decided to get up and find herself a book to read. As she walked through the isles, she couldn't help but be proud of the work she'd done in restoring the library. It had been in such disarray when she arrived, and now look at it! The books were all in order, neatly tucked away where they belonged, waiting for someone to come pluck them off the shelf and enjoy their splendid contents.

Not consciously paying attention to where she was, Belle ran her hands down the length of a bookshelf, smiling when she found no dust on the dark brown wood. As she reached the end of the row she was in, she looked up, and a book caught her eye.

"What are you doing here?" She muttered as she gently pulled the book off the shelf. At first glance, she thought the book was in the wrong section, but upon closer inspection she realized why. She had ordered the book by author last name, and this book had no author. Curious, Belle took the book back to her desk, pulled over a lamp, and began to inspect it further.

"Someone had to have written you," she said, her voice almost chastising. Then she read the title out loud to herself. "_A Traveler's Guide to Magic and Adventures_. Hmm." She began to flip through the pages, looking for some clue as to who may have written the book.

"Wow," she exclaimed as she flipped the pages, "this is exquisite detail. Clearly whoever wrote you took great care to do so. So why didn't they claim you?" The irony of the title hadn't crossed Belle's mind quite yet.

"Do you always talk to your books?" Belle jumped at the voice, not expecting anyone to be there.

"Oh, Henry," she said, a bit flustered. "You startled me. What brings you back to the library today?"

"I wanted to find a picture book I can read to baby Neal," he said, and Belle smiled.

Attempting to pull her mind from the book she held back to the here and now, Belle instinctively said, "I think I have just the thing. Follow me," and emerged from behind the desk to lead Henry to the children's book section. "Here we go," she said happily, pulling a small, hardcover book off the shelf and handing it to Henry.

"Perfect!" He exclaimed, taking the book with an excited glimmer in his eyes. "I already read him my storybook, so I needed another one. Thanks Belle!" And with that he ran toward the door, eager to get back to his new baby uncle.

"Oh, Henry, wait!" Belle thought of it just as Henry reached the door. He turned and looked at her, waiting to see what she wanted. "Do you… do you have your storybook with you?"

"Of course, why?"

"Would you mind if I… borrowed it for a bit?" She asked, hoping he wouldn't mind.

"Sure thing," he said, running back to the circulation desk and plopping his book bag on top of it. He gently pulled out his book, but before he gave it to her, he asked, "Why do you want it?"

Belle tried not to blush, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, "Oh, no reason, just curious. You could say I like to read." Her attempt at sarcasm fell flat, but Henry smiled, and set the book down gingerly on the desk. He wasn't ready to give it up just yet, though.

As Henry flipped through the book, Belle began to wonder what he was up to. Surely he couldn't know what she wanted to see in the book, unless David had said something to him…

Just as Belle started to worry, Henry looked up at her, grinned, and turned the book toward her. "You're in here, you know," he said. "Here, here's your story. Thought you might like to read it. Anyway, have a good day, and thanks for the book!" And as unexpectedly as he had come in, he was gone.

Glancing down at the book, Belle muttered "Bye…" not noticing when he had left, already totally engrossed in her story. As she read through the book, she couldn't help but wonder how someone had known exactly how her life had gone. But that wasn't what held her attention.

There were parts of her story that she'd tried to forget over the last few years since the curse broke, but now, looking back, she realized just how important every moment of her life had been. How much each moment had meant to her, and how everything had led her to right where she was now. Reading through everything she had done before being locked away in the Queen's Castle, Belle marveled at how much her life had changed.

Would the girl who fought the Yaoguai ever have thought she'd end up living in a little town in Maine, and getting married to the Dark One in a small little ceremony in the woods? Parts of that, perhaps, she had dreamt about back then, but she doubted she'd ever really thought it would happen.

It was strange, reading her life as if it were just another story. She felt almost detached from it, like it had happened in another life, but at the same time she realized that everything that had ever happened to her made her who she was today, and had led her to the wonderful life she had now with Rumple. It was her life, but it seemed so far away now.

As Belle got closer to the end of her story, the library door creaked open, and she quickly hid the book under the counter, somehow embarrassed to be caught rereading her own life in Henry's book.

Her next visitor was David. "Hi Mr. Nolan," Belle said courteously. "Can I help you find something?"

David shook his head. "No, I just came to talk to you."

Belle knew what he wanted. "This is about the conversation you had with Rumple yesterday, wasn't it?" She really didn't want to have this conversation with him, especially not now.

"What's that?" He asked, glancing at the book Belle had pulled off the shelf earlier. She hadn't realized it was still there. Attempting to make light of it, Belle blushed and pulled the book off the counter, but she was too slow. "Magic and Adventure?" He read. "Belle, you shouldn't be messing around with this stuff, you know."

Belle was momentarily confused. "I… I just pulled this book off the shelf earlier. It didn't have an author so I was trying to find out who wrote it, and then Henry came in and I didn't finish…" Flustered by the suspicious look on David's face, Belle wasn't sure what to say.

"This is about Gold's idea of going back, isn't it?"

Belle was shocked. "What? No, it's… It's just a random book…" And then it hit her. "Oh, I didn't… I didn't realize…" Belle glanced back down at the book. _A Traveler's Guide to Magic and Adventures_. Of course! She hadn't made the connection before, but now she figured it out. Before she could think of something to say, David started talking.

"You have to talk him out of it, Belle. You can't go back. There's nothing to go back to. Ask Emma or Mary Margaret, they've been back since the curse. The land is ravaged, you'll be in the middle of a war."

"Are you trying to talk me out of going with him?" She asked, annoyed that everyone seemed to think she needed to be protected.

"No," David sighed, "I'm trying to get you to keep him from going at all."

"That's not possible," Belle said confidently. "Did he tell you why he's going back?"

David nodded. "Yeah, to bring Neal back, I know, but he can't do that. You can't let him do that."

"Well I'm not going to stop him." Belle looked at David defiantly, daring him to tell her what to do. "Why would I? The only thing he has ever wanted in his life was to be with his son. It would be wrong to deprive him of the last chance he has to save him."

David didn't get it. "Why would you want to go back there? It's dangerous, and it's not worth it. He doesn't even know how to bring someone back from the dead, and even if he does find a way, Neal's body is buried here. He can't do it. Unless you're planning on lugging his body around while you travel between realms."

That last bit of sarcasm annoyed Belle, and she said, "Yeah, I'm sure it's dangerous. But with Rumple's magic I'm sure he can protect us, we'll be fine. And he'll find a way, I know he will. He loves his son more than anything, and he'll find a way to get him back. You should understand that more than anyone, David."

As David looked into Belle's eyes, he realized she really believed Gold could bring back his dead son. He felt bad for antagonizing her, but he had to try one last tactic. "Sure, Gold's magic can protect you, but do you really want him to do that? Do you really want him to go back to the Enchanted Forest and start using magic again? What could that do to him?"

"No, he won't go back to the man he was before," Belle said, trying to convince herself as much as David.

"And what's keeping him from doing so?"

"It's different this time," Belle said. "He changed before. I saw good in him before, when I first met him back in our land. And when he spared that man's life, I knew he was capable of change. And he has. Now, this time, he's a different man, and this time, he has protection against the darkness. This time, he has me."

Seeing the hopeful, dreamy look in Belle's eyes, David couldn't bring himself to argue any further. "Well," he sighed, "If you're set on doing this, then I guess all I can do is wish you the best of luck." And with that, he turned and headed toward the door.

Before he left, though, he said, "Belle," and she looked up at him expectantly. "As much as Gold and I may not get along, take care of him." Seeing she didn't get it, he said, "Not for me, for Henry. To him, Gold is family now. He's the last link Henry has to his father. The kid's lost so much, don't let him lose his grandfather too."

Belle smiled a sad smile at David and replied, "He won't. And when we get back, he'll have his father back, too."

David wanted to believe they could actually do it, but he wasn't sure, so he just nodded and left.

Belle was upset, but she refused to let David's words get to her. _Do you really want him to do that? _She wouldn't admit it, maybe not even to herself, but she was afraid of what would happen if Rumple started using magic again. What if he became obsessed with his power again, then what could she do? But he wouldn't do that, not to her, would he?

Belle shook her head, telling herself worrying wasn't worth it. David had just said that to get her to doubt her husband, and she wasn't going to let him succeed. Searching for a way to distract herself, Belle remembered the book in her hands. "Well," she sighed, "I guess it's just you and me now." Never one to deny her sense of curiosity, Belle opened the book and began to read about magic and adventure.

* * *

><p>While Belle was at the library, Rumple spent his day in the shop, splitting his time between working with clients, organizing the shop, and spinning. Now he sat at his spinning wheel, thinking about all that had happened since his wedding day.<p>

When he had found out there was a possibility that he could bring his son back, he was elated. Now, though, he found himself doubting what to do. He desperately wanted to get Baelfire back, for he knew that was the only way he could live with himself. But he wanted Belle to be happy, too.

She had agreed to go with him, and he was glad of that, but was it really what she wanted? Rumple knew the girl never lacked for courage, never backed away from an adventure, but would this truly make her happy?

_If only she could hear me know, _he thought to himself. If he were to voice these concerns to Belle, he knew exactly what she'd say. He could hear her voice now, could see her smile at his concern, telling him _of course this will make me happy, Rumple. If it makes you happy, nothing could make me happier._

And that would be the truth. That would be how she would feel, and yet it worried him. He knew how much she cared for him, but at what cost to herself? She was willing to give up the life they had just started together and travel across realms with him just so he could be happy. Her devotion warmed his heart, but he also hoped it didn't hurt hers.

_I'm not a good person, _Rumple thought, _and don't want to end up hurting her._

Realizing that thinking this way would just drag him in a downward spiral, Rumple tried to focus on the wheel and banish these thoughts from his mind. He thought about all the good times they'd had together, and still marveled at the happiness he found in her.

What surprised him even more, though, was how concerned he was for Belle and her happiness. For as long as he could remember, the only person he had ever thought of was himself. He'd been purely self-serving, never caring what his costs his actions had on other people.

Now, though, things were different. He found himself doubting whether he was doing the right thing, solely because he was worried about Belle. It wasn't even her actions that concerned him, it was the effect his actions would have on her, and that was a feeling he hadn't felt for anyone since before he'd lost Baelfire. He never thought he'd feel that way about anyone again, and yet here he was.

Lost in reflection, Rumple continued to spin, only half-noticing the amount of wool that was piling up on the dusty wooden floor at his feet. He listened as the wheel creaked as it turned, and tried not to let himself think about what could possibly go wrong in the future. There was no point in that.

But he couldn't help himself. He kept worrying. That he'd eventually fail and let Belle down, he was sure. He wasn't the man she wanted him to be, and no matter how he tried, he could never completely banish the monster that was inside of him.

That he had changed since he met her, he was sure, but do people every truly completely change? He tried so hard to become a better man for Belle, but could he really change what was in his heart? He wanted to believe he could, but he very much doubted it.

* * *

><p>As he continued to think and spin, Rumple lost track of time, and was startled when he heard the bell chime to let him know someone was in his shop. Glancing at the clock on the shelf, he realized he had spent more time than he thought at the wheel; it was time for Belle to be back from the library.<p>

Rising slowly, Rumple made his way through the curtain and into the main room of the shop, and smiled as his wife set her large red purse on the counter and came over to give him a quick hug.

"How was your day at the library?" He asked pleasantly. "No more dragons in the basement I assume?"

"No," Belle laughed, "no dragons. It was just me and the books today," she said, giving him a sweet smile. "How was your day here at the shop?"

"Fine," Rumple said, trying to think of something else to talk about. He wasn't ready to share his misgivings with her yet, hoping once they got their journey underway he could stop worrying so much.

"Well," Belle said, "I'm starving. What do you say we go to Granny's and get some dinner?"

"Sounds great," Rumple said, eager to get out of the shop for a while. "Let me close up a few things here and we'll be on our way."

Satisfied, Belle smiled and nodded. She went over to grab her purse, looking down at the two books she had brought with her. She had learned some interesting things in her adventure book, and hadn't yet gotten a chance to look through Henry's.

"Alright, ready to go?" Rumple asked as he flipped the shop's sign to _Closed._

Belle looked up, hurriedly closing her purse. "Yep," she said, and put her arm through his as they walked out the door together.

For a reason Belle couldn't quite explain, even to herself, she decided not to tell Rumple about the books in her bag. She instinctively squeezed her purse closer to her side, as if that would help keep her secret a little bit safer.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning, Rumple woke up a bit later than usual, and rolled over to find the other side of his bed empty. He rolled back over and glanced into the bathroom that adjoined their bedroom, and saw that his wife was already busying herself getting ready.

Just as Rumple lie back on his pillows, Belle emerged from the bathroom, grinning when she saw that he was awake. "Good morning sleepyhead," she teased, and laughed when he grunted in response. "I'm on my way out, if you get ready quickly you can walk me to the library," she said as she grabbed her deep blue earrings off her nightstand.

"Don't worry about the library today," Rumple said, not bothering to add more as he was still sleepy.

"Rumple," Belle sighed, "we just opened. I have to go to work."

Rumple shook his head, although Belle didn't see that as he was still lying in bed and she was busy putting on her shoes. "No, that's not what I meant. Don't worry about going to the library today, we're leaving."

Belle turned her head quickly and stared at him, taking a minute to process what she had just heard. When she grasped what he meant, she said, "Today?" She wanted to ask more, but she didn't know what to say.

Rumple moaned and sat up, hoping Belle wasn't going to try to get him to wait. "Yes, we are leaving today." Belle was still staring at him warily, so he added, "Belle, there just isn't anything here for me. Every day I sit in the shop and spin and think, and if I think for one more day I might drive myself insane. I have to get out of this town."

Trying to understand how he felt, Belle smiled at him sadly. She still didn't know what to say. Sensing that he needed some comfort, Belle desperately sought for something she could say to make him smile.

As Rumple watched his wife, he saw her face go from deep in thought to being lit up with an idea, and she turned to him with a vibrant smile. He sensed she was up to something, and his suspicions were confirmed when she said, "I have something to show you!" and, forgetting about the shoes she had been trying to put on, scampered over to her purse that was sitting on her dresser.

With one more smile at her husband, Belle reached into her purse and pulled out Henry's storybook. She walked over to the bed, and sat down beside Rumple, put her head on his shoulder, and began to flip the pages.

She stopped flipping when she got to the story of Baelfire's birth, and handed the book to Rumple. "Here, I thought you might like to read his story. Might remind you what we are fighting for."

Not trusting himself to speak, Rumple gently took the book from Belle's hands and read the story.

Belle picked her head up off Rumple's shoulder and watched his face as he read, happy that she could provide him with a memory of his son, and hoping that the story would indeed remind him of their goal, should he face temptations once their journey got started.

When Rumple got closer to the part of the story he dreaded the most, he turned to Belle and, holding back tears, said, "Thank you, Belle, but I don't think I can finish reading his story. Let's read something with a better ending."

Looking back at the book, he began to turn the pages, and glanced up occasionally to see that Belle didn't know what he was getting at. Smiling to himself, he kept turning the pages until he found what he was looking for.

Glancing down at the book, Belle finally understood. The picture on the page was a girl in a yellow ball gown entering a dark castle with a man holding a bow. He was reading their story. "This was right after you talked me out of killing the thief in the forest," he said.

"And right before you showed me your library," Belle smiled.

Returning her smile, Rumple continued to flip the pages, and they found themselves lost in their history together. When they got to both of their favorite part, Rumple stopped reading, and they looked at each other, realizing they were both crying. Rumple put his arms around Belle's shoulders, and she wrapped her arms around him too, hugging him tightly as he looked back at the book and kept reading.

When he reached the end of their story, Belle let him go and looked up at him in shock. "She told you I was dead?" She said, then, looking back down, continued, "And my father all but killed me. No wonder you hated him."

Rumple didn't know what to say, so he just nodded mutely. After a few seconds, he murmured, "I thought I'd lost you forever."

"I thought we were reading a story with a happy ending," Belle complained though tears and a semi-sarcastic smile.

"Well," Rumple said, "look at us now. I'd say it ended happily eventually, wouldn't you?"

Nodding and swiping at her tears, Belle hugged him again, and they sat like that for a while, neither one needing words, each one knowing all they needed right then was each other.

* * *

><p>After breakfast, Belle went back upstairs and changed clothes. When she had dressed that morning, she'd thought she'd be going to the library, and now that she knew they were leaving, she decided more sensible travelling clothes were in order.<p>

Glancing at their bed, she saw that Henry's book was still sitting there. Deciding they might be in need of it on their journey in the days to come, she grabbed it and tucked it safely inside of the travel bag she was taking with her.

Remembering the other book she had brought home yesterday, Belle went over to her purse and grabbed it, adding it to her travel bag as well. With one final glance around their room, Belle decided she had everything she needed, and with an approving nod she headed back downstairs and into the pawn shop.

Expecting to find Rumple behind the counter as usual, Belle was surprised to find Rumple emerging from the back, holding something wrapped up in white cloth. With a smile he walked up to Belle and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked, knowing not to unwrap it unless he told her to.

"Another reminder of what I have to fight for," he said, "unwrap it."

Having been given the command she was awaiting, Belle gently unwrapped the object, and beamed when she found herself holding their chipped teacup.

"I'll take this with me," he smiled, "so I never forget what I am fighting for."

As happy as she was, Belle was also confused. "You are fighting for your son," she said, hoping he'd explain.

He did. "I'm fighting for my family. My son, he is family. I need to get him back. But now, we are family, too. And I'm not going to let myself forget that."

Gently rewrapping the cup and handing it to him, Belle smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him to her. "We'll get him back, Rumple," she whispered in his ear, "and we can be a family together."

* * *

><p>As they stood in the middle of the forest in Storybrooke, Belle finally found the courage to ask the question she'd been wanting to ask for days, but hadn't dared. "So, how exactly are we going to get back to our land?"<p>

With one of his most mischievous smiles, Rumple put his hand in his pocket, and as slowly and with as much drama as possible, pulled out a magic bean.

"A magic bean!" Belle exclaimed, "Where did you get that? I thought Greg and Tamara destroyed them all!"

"They did," Rumple said, looking all too pleased with himself. "But, as it turns out, they took a few specimens with them to examine. When I caught up with them in Neverland," he paused, and smiled, "Well, let's just say I managed to get it from them."

Belle was worried about what that meant, but decided it was better if she didn't ask.

"So," he said, "Ready to go?"

With a deep breath, Belle looked at him and nodded.

Rumple took her hand and said, "Remember, think of where you want to go. Think of my castle. Next thing you know, we'll be there." Giving her a reassuring grin, he squeezed her hand, looked out into the forest, and threw the bean down in front of them.

Belle gasped as the bean began to glow, and then grew into a blue, spinning hole in the ground. "Is that the portal?" She asked, knowing it was a dumb question, and immediately regretting it.

Rumple nodded and said, "Let's do it." Looking at each other, they both took a deep breath, and, as if on count, they closed their eyes and jumped.

* * *

><p>Just as Rumple had said, the next thing Belle knew she was standing in the Great Hall of the Dark Castle, and, coming to her senses, she was somewhat surprised to be still holding his hand.<p>

Looking up into his eyes, she saw he was just as surprised as she was. "We… We did it," she said, slowly smiling at him.

"Yes we did," he nodded, "we're back."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The first thing Rumple was aware of was how cold he was, and then how different the place looked. He hadn't been sure of what they would find awaiting them when they returned to their land, but it certainly wasn't this. The castle was trashed.

As Rumple looked around, dread started to creep its way uninvited into his mind. Instinctively, he squeezed Belle's hand a little tighter, and he felt her squeeze back. He looked down at their joined hands, then slowly raised his gaze up into her face.

She looked worried too, and they held each other's gaze for a while, both a little scared of what this might mean. It certainly wasn't the start they had hoped for. They'd been expecting to find his castle the way they had left it, had expected to find their land the way they had left it. Finding the castle trashed seemed a bad omen, one warning that other things in their land had changed as well, and quite possibly not for the better.

As Belle looked at Rumple, she saw her own dread reflected in his eyes, and realized for the first time how nervous he looked. Putting her own fears aside, Belle tried to clear the air by saying, "We made it back. Step number one is a check." She attempted a smile then, but it came out more forced than she had intended.

Rumple managed a weak smile as well, but he still looked worried. Dropping his hand, Belle walked over toward the center of the hall and looked around. "It's been a long time since I've been here," she mused, hoping to distract Rumple from his worries.

It didn't work. "It's been a long time for me, too," he murmured as he looked around. One of the windows was open, and he walked toward it. As he looked out, he noticed how bare the land looked. It was the end of fall, the time of the year where all the leaves have fallen but winter's beauty hasn't yet set in. A breeze came in the window, and Rumple instinctively shivered, not really aware of what he was doing, standing there as if in a haze.

Watching him, Belle walked over and shut the window, then walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to catch a chill, Rumple," she chastised, and frowned when he nodded absently.

Attempting to return them to the task at hand, Belle said, "Okay, so what do we need to do?" Rumple didn't say anything; he just stood there staring over her shoulder to the window. Growing concerned, Belle dropped her hand from his shoulder, and, trying to get his attention, said, "Rumple? What is it?"

As if he was surprised to see her there, Rumple looked confused, and then shook his head to clear it. "It's… It's nothing… Nothing…" he stammered, trying to get the memories out of his head.

Belle could see that it wasn't nothing, and could also see that, for the moment, he had his guard down. "It isn't nothing," she said, another question that wasn't a question at all. "Rumple," she said, taking one of his hands in both of hers, "Tell me what's bothering you."

Rumple tried to focus his gaze on her, but he couldn't quite bring himself back to the present. Not yet. "It's just…. So much happened here…." He said. Belle said nothing, waiting for him to continue. He did. "It's like I'm stepping back into another life. It was so long ago... I was a different person, living a different life, and yet now I'm back. Back where I started, still looking for my son, still looking…."

As he trailed off, Belle became even more concerned. "It was a long time ago, Rumple," she said, "And you found your son. You'll find him again. Don't worry, we will find him." Seeing that he wasn't going to respond, Belle said again, "So what do we need to do?"

Suddenly Rumple looked at her, and this time he seemed to be really looking at her, not at some far off point she couldn't see. As if realizing where he was for the first time, Rumple said, "Someone broke in here."

Not understanding what he meant, Belle said, "Broke in? To the castle?"

Rumple nodded. "That's why it's so trashed. Someone must have broken in here." As if that explained everything, Rumple turned and began to walk toward the cupboard at the end of the hall.

Belle followed him, and saw that the glass in the cupboard door was all broken. "Did they take something from there?" She asked, trying to figure out what he was after. "Is that why the glass is shattered?"

"No, no," Rumple said absently, "I did that." As if that made perfect sense, he walked over to the closet beside the large cupboard and opened it. "Someone has been here."

"You did that?" Belle asked, wondering how long it had been broken.

"Yes, but that's not the point," Rumple said impatiently as he continued to rummage through the closet's contents.

Growing a bit annoyed that he wouldn't give her a straight answer, Belle said, "Then what is the point?" Not getting a response, she walked over, grabbed Rumple's shoulder and said, "Rumple, tell me what is going on. What are we going to do? What's bothering you so much?"

Realizing he'd been leaving her out, Rumple saw how self-absorbed he had been, and he started to feel bad. "I'm sorry Belle," he sighed, "It's just…. It's just not what I was hoping to find."

That really wasn't an explanation. "What isn't? What did you expect to find? What are we doing here?"

Searching for a way to explain himself to her, Rumple said, "I had hoped to find everything the way it had been. Seeing the castle like this, it means things have changed. It means… Well, it means this land is different than it once was. If someone broke into my castle, it means people here aren't afraid of the Dark One anymore." Not sure how to continue, Rumple paused, and then whispered, "That means I don't have power anymore." That last sentence was involuntary, and he was surprised he had admitted that. What he wasn't going to admit was how much that scared him.

To his surprise, Belle began to smile, then, looking him in the eyes, shook her head, and put her hand on the side of his face. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes, and so he glanced down. "How many times do I have to tell you?" She sighed, smiling lovingly at him. "You don't need power, you need courage." Seeing that he was still looking away, she quietly said, "You have to have faith, Rumple. Faith in yourself, and faith in us. Believe in us."

At that he slowly brought himself to look at her, and he saw such genuine care in her eyes that he had to hold back tears. "I do believe in us," he said, and wrapped her in a hug. He was surprised by how much she could influence him, and also that he didn't mind. There was a time when he would never have let someone have that kind of influence over him, a time when he never would have let someone so far in. Now, though, he couldn't imagine trying to live without her.

Slowly pulling away, Rumple looked his wife in the eyes, and realized she was right. Regardless of what had happened while they were away, they would find a way to accomplish their goal. Nothing could stop him from finding a way to save his son.

Bringing herself back to the matter at hand, Belle said, "So, do we have a plan? What are we going to do?"

Trying to come up with a plan, Rumple began to tell Belle everything he knew. "Henry's book said there is a powerful wizard in our land now, and we are going to have to find him."

"The book!" Belle exclaimed, remembering having stuck it in her bag before they left. Taking her bag off her shoulder, she pulled the book out and handed it to Rumple. "I brought it in case we needed it. What does it say about the wizard?"

Smiling at her excitement, Rumple said "I knew I could count on you," and Belle blushed and looked away with a small giggle. Flipping through the book, Rumple found what he was looking for. "Here," he said triumphantly, turning the book to Belle. This new wizard practices the most unstable type of magic," he said ominously, "The magic that is somewhere in between light and dark magic."

"Have you ever seen this type of magic before?" Belle asked, curious but wary.

"No," Rumple said, "I haven't. My experience has been mostly with dark magic, as that is the way of the Dark One. I had some encounters with fairies, theirs is light magic. And then Ms. Swan and the Queen gave us quite the show of light magic back in Storybrooke. But this kind of magic, I've never seen it actually being used."

"So, do you know what it can do? Is it dangerous?" Belle wasn't really sure what to make of this information, but by the look on Rumple's face she figured there was cause for concern.

Rumple made a face that was half way between a sarcastic smile and a grimace, and said, "Of course it's dangerous. All magic is dangerous, and this type is particularly unstable. But it has its perks, too. I don't know exactly what it can do, but I know it is more powerful than either light magic or dark magic, because it has powers of both of them."

"But you think it has the power to restore life." Belle said that quietly, somewhat afraid of how he might respond.

Rumple nodded slowly, staring at the pages in the book. "It says it has the power to return something taken away by either dark or light magic. It can undo the worst of curses, those which even true love's kiss can't break."

Belle began to see where he was going. "And the magic Zelena used, the magic that killed Neal, that was dark magic."

Again, Rumple nodded slowly. "His life was taken away by dark magic. If this is right, the wizard should be able to undo his curse, and return his life to him."

Belle noticed that his voice was not so heavy now, and she hoped that meant he was beginning to have more faith, beginning to have more hope. "So," she said, "We have to find the wizard, and, what, convince him to come back to Storybrooke with us and bring back Neal's life?"

Rumple looked at her, a devious grin making its way onto his face. "Yes," he said mischievously, "Convince him, or make him."

* * *

><p>Once they had come up with a plan for finding the Wizard in Henry's book, they looked out the window and realized the sun was setting. They decided the beginning of their journey could wait until the morning, so Rumple took Belle up to his old bed chamber and they settled down for the night.<p>

Realizing this might be the last night she got to sleep in a real bed for a while, Belle decided to make the most of it, and lie down on the pillows with a heavy sigh. She was excited for what lay ahead, and couldn't wait to get started.

As she lie there, Belle kept thinking of all the adventures that awaited them. As she contemplated all they were going to do and all they were going to see, she found that she couldn't sleep.

She wasn't really sure how long they had laid there, but at some point she gave up on trying to sleep and began to get up. "Where are you going?" She jumped, not expecting her husband to be awake.

"Oh," she said, "nowhere really. I just couldn't sleep."

"Excited, or worried?" Rumple said, a hint of sarcasm underlying the feigned concern.

Belle smiled and lay back down, putting her head on his shoulder. "Both, I guess," she said.

"Well, try to get some sleep," Rumple said, "We might not get very much in the coming days.

"I don't think I can fall asleep," she said, more to herself than to him.

Rumple smiled. "You know what I do when I can't fall asleep?" he asked, and she giggled.

"In my experience," she laughed, "You lie there awake."

"I'm serious," he complained, then said, "I think of something that makes me happy. The happiest moment of my life. I close my eyes, and go back to that moment, remembering exactly how I felt, and remembering everything that made me happy," he sighed then, not really aware of what he was saying. Closing his eyes, he continued. "Then, once I'm in a better place than I was when I laid down, I fall asleep."

Belle smiled, and, closing her eyes, did the same. She thought of all the wonderful, small moments they'd had together, remembered how she felt when they got married, how she felt when he called her "Mrs. Gold". Before she knew it, she was asleep.

As Rumple lie there, he listened to her breathing, and eventually the slow, even pattern of it told him she was asleep. "There you go," he whispered, "You did it." Smiling to himself, he kissed her head gently, and then lie back to think of what he would face in the coming days.

Realizing he wasn't following his own advice, he tried to stop thinking and go to sleep. Before he did, though, he made a promise. Under his breath, talking low so as not to wake up his sleeping wife, he said, "I will find a way to bring you back, Bae. I will." Looking down at the sleeping form in his arms, he gently hugged his wife, and said, "Then we can be a family."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Belle felt a rush of cold air on her face, and inadvertently shut her eyes against the chill. She'd been having such a wonderful dream, one of those dreams so vivid it felt real, and she momentarily forgot where she was when she finally opened her eyes.

Regretfully giving into the pull of reality, Belle yawned and looked around, not remembering where she was at first, momentarily confused to not find herself in her bedroom. Then the events of the previous day came rushing back to her, and she found herself wishing she could go back to sleep. Without really thinking, she pulled the thick covers up to her chin and pushed her head deep into the soft pillows, closing her eyes again and thinking of her dream.

Belle had just about fallen back to sleep when she heard a loud bang, and, startled, she sat up. Looking around the chamber, she saw nothing out of the ordinary, and when her heart rate slowed back to normal she realized how cold she was and shivered.

Knowing her curiosity would not allow her to go back to sleep, Belle sighed and got out of the bed. She walked over to the closet where they had deposited their clothes the night before and took out her warmest travelling cloak. Wrapping it around herself, she grabbed her brush and ran it absently through her hair before heading down the long spiral stairs that lead into the castle's Great Hall.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Belle once again looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Surely the bang had come from here? And where was Rumple? She had been alone in the bedchamber when she awoke, but she hadn't thought much of it. Now, though, she began to wonder what he was up to.

Belle walked around the hall, not sure if she should search the castle or wait here and see if he came back. To her great relief, she didn't have to worry for long. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs behind her, and as she turned she saw her husband emerging from the castle's basement.

"Oh, you're awake," he said, sounding surprised but nonetheless pleased to see her.

Skipping the pleasantries, Belle said, "What was that noise?"

Holding his hands behind his back, a look of confusion flashed across Rumple's face, for only a second, and then it was replaced with a mischievous grin. "Oh," he laughed to himself, "I was, um, looking for something in the basement. In the process, I might have knocked over a barrel or two." Amused despite himself, he shook his head and remembered that he was talking to his wife. "Did I wake you?"

Belle smiled, "Sort of." Stifling a yawn, she asked, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Rumple looked at her with a triumphant grin, and said, "Yes, as a matter of fact I did."

As he stood there grinning at her, she realized he wasn't going to give her any information willingly. She'd have to drag it out of him; he too much enjoyed being the center of attention. His devious grin and the levity of his voice reminded her of how he used to be, of the man she had met so long ago in her father's castle, and come to know so well here in these halls. Reminded her of the imp she had fallen in love with.

Bringing her thoughts back to the present, Belle attempted to get some information out of him. "And, what were you looking for, exactly?" she asked, enjoying their verbal battles, but still somewhat irked at his inability to be straightforward.

"This!" He said, for the first time revealing the hands that had been hidden behind his back. In his hand he held a rolled up piece of parchment, which didn't look like anything important to Belle.

When Rumple made no move to show her what it was, Belle forgot her earlier attempts at stifling and yawned dramatically. "And," she said, once again sounding both intrigued and annoyed, "What is that?"

"A scroll." He sounded so serious that Belle figured he didn't realize how much his verbal playfulness was annoying her.

"Yes," she sighed, "I can see that."

All of a sudden, Rumple's face became much more serious, and his earlier levity was gone. "This is a very important scroll, Belle," he said in the voice he reserved just for her. He only used that tone when he was going to explain something to her, and usually something very important. That tone got her attention.

Now that he was in a more serious mood, Belle doubted that she'd have to drag the information out of him, and waited for him to continue. Her patience was rewarded when he said, "This scroll is how we are going to find our wizard."

Belle looked at him in shock, and then glanced down at the rolled up paper in his hand. She very much wanted to know what they were going to have to do to find this wizard. "What does it say?" she asked.

"Well, nothing yet," Rumple said, and began to unroll the scroll. As he had said, it was blank. Belle gave him one of her confused looks, and he smiled before adding in a mysterious voice, "It's magic," as if that explained everything.

Seeing that she still didn't understand, Rumple went on. "You see, this scroll has a locator spell on it, but not your typical locator spell. Normally, you have to put a locator spell on something that belonged to the person. This scroll, however, is different. This spell allows the scroll to locate the one person in the realm who has the most powerful magic. At one time, that was me. That's why I have it. I hid it in the cellar downstairs, because I didn't want anyone to be able to use it to locate me."

Seeing where he was going, Belle said, "And now you think it will locate the wizard, because his magic is supposedly stronger than yours."

"Exactly," Rumple grinned, proud of himself and his wife, too.

Eager to get on with their journey, Belle said, "So how does it work? Do we have to follow a floating scroll around the forest to find him?"

Rumple laughed at that and said, "No, no, nothing like that. This type of locator spell creates a map. All we have to do is enact the spell, and it will give us a map to the person with the most powerful magic in the realm."

"Okay, so enact it then," Belle said, as much out of curiosity as eagerness to begin.

Rumple smiled at her, glad that she was so willing to stay by his side through this. Even happier that she wasn't worried about the journey, he wouldn't blame her if she had doubts. Shifting his gaze from her face down to the parchment, he waved his hand over the scroll and watched in satisfaction as the purple haze cleared and the beginnings of a map formed on the parchment.

When the map had fully appeared, Belle found that the writings on it were in another language. She recognized it as the one used by the fairies in their writing, but she hadn't learned to read it. Hoping Rumple knew more than she did, she asked, "What does it say?"

Rumple was frowning at the parchment, and looked up at her in slight confusion, "It says," he muttered, "that we need to go to the Queen's castle."

"The Queen's castle?" Belle echoed, not sure what else to say. When Rumple simply nodded, Belle said, "Why would a wizard be there?"

"Well," he sighed, "that's where Zelena took up residence when she came on her little visit to the Enchanted Forest. Must just be a nice place to stay."

Belle shook her head. "Zelena only went there to force a confrontation with her sister. Regina isn't even here anymore, so why would anyone go there?"

Hearing a slight bit of desperation in her voice, Rumple said, "I don't know, but what does it matter? If that's where the wizard is, that's where we'll go, too. We best get our things together, there's nothing left for us to do."

Attempting to ignore the inner worries she felt, Belle gave a weak attempt at a smile and nodded. Following Rumple as he turned and walked back up the stairs to the bed chamber, Belle tried her best to tell herself that all would turn out fine.

* * *

><p>Once they had all their things collected and had changed into their best travelling clothes, the two of them walked down the stairs and back into the castle's great hall. Belle wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but she just assumed Rumple would somehow use his magic to get them to the Queen's castle in a matter of seconds.<p>

She was surprised, then, when they walked out of the castle and she found two horses standing there, already saddled and packed with supplies. "Are, are those for us?" She asked dubiously.

Rumple laughed and said, "You didn't think we were going to walk the entire way did you?"

In truth, Belle had no idea how far it was from the Dark Castle to the Queen's castle, so she just shrugged and said, "I figured you'd just use magic to get us there."

Rumple immediately shook his head and said, "No, I can't do that. I don't know what kind of magic the wizard has there, and what kind of spells he might have cast around the castle. It would be too dangerous to use magic to get there, because if he saw us as a threat there's no telling what he could do."

Belle nodded. "That makes sense," she said, for she didn't really have any other reply. She turned toward the horses, and looked them over. "I assume this one's mine," she said with a smile as she walked toward the one with a dark tan sidesaddle. When Rumple confirmed that it was, she began to appraise it. Her mount was a beautiful tan palfrey, and as she stroked its main she decided it would be good to ride again. It had been a very long time since she'd ridden a horse.

"Do like it?" Rumple asked as he brushed his horse down.

"Yes," she smiled, "Does she have a name?"

Rumple smiled and shook his head. "No, neither of them have names yet. You can name them, if you want."

He was pleased when Belle beamed, and he watched her as she thought about what to call their new travelling companions.

"Well," Belle said, looking his horse over as well. His was a spirited black Arabian, and it reminded her of her father's horse she used to see in the stables when she was a young girl. "When I was young, I had a small grey horse named Aidan. I told myself that if I ever got a girl horse, they'd be best friends, and I'd name her Nadia. I never got the chance to do that, so…"

Rumple was smiling widely now, and she realized how ridiculous she sounded. Blushing, she said quickly, "I was young…"

"I think that's a great name," Rumple said, which only made her blush more. "And what about mine?"

"Midnight," she said without hesitation. Then, she added with another blush, "I know, it's cliché, but he reminds me of my father's horse whose name was also midnight."

Rumple smiled, and walked over to wrap his arms gently around her waist. Her innocent, childish demeanor was more endearing to him than she'd ever know, "Those will do wonderfully," he said with a loving grin. "I think you've gotten our journey of to a wonderful start." She smiled, some of the embarrassed redness receding from her face.

So glad that he finally had a partner to go through life's journeys with, Rumple leaned in and kissed her, hoping that the rest of their journey would be as blissfully pleasant as this morning had been.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

They travelled throughout the morning, riding and idly talking of anything that came to mind. They stopped briefly around midday to take their horses to the stream to drink and have lunch themselves.

When their horses were finished drinking and tied to a nearby tree, Belle got out their food and set up a small picnic. "Rumple," she asked, and he looked at her questioningly. "How far is the Queen's castle? How many days of riding is it?"

"Tired already?" Rumple teased, and laughed when she gave him a mock expression of offense. "The Queen's castle is no more than a few day's ride from mine," he said. "I'd say we'll get there in the next few days.

Belle nodded, wondering how he knew where they were. To her, it just seemed like the middle of a forest. She was thankful they were together, because she doubted she could have found her way around this forest herself.

As they ate they sat in silence, and Belle found herself wishing she could read the book she had taken from Storybrooke library. She didn't get it out of her purse, however, for something told her it wouldn't be a good idea to read it in front of her husband. She wasn't sure why she felt that way, but she'd learned at an early age that instincts tend to be right.

When Belle finished eating, she found herself wishing she could think of something to talk about. But what? There really wasn't anything that needed to be said between them, and Rumple had never been very good at small talk.

She tried a few times to strike up an idle conversation, but they'd talked all morning, and her husband made few attempts to carry on a conversation with her. Bored and somewhat frustrated, Belle suddenly stood up and announced, "I'm going to go down to the stream and refill my canteen."

Rumple nodded. She hadn't invited him to go with her, so he simply said, "Okay, but be careful."

"Always am," Belle said, unable to resist sending a small, flirtatious smile his way before she turned toward the sloping bank of the stream.

Rumple watched her go, his mind blissfully blank for the first time in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't felt guilty about something, hadn't felt the need to make something right. Going on this mission, while it may not have been well-planned, had certainly been the right thing to do, he was sure of it.

When Belle was out of site, Rumple began to busy himself by getting their things ready to go. He put the remaining food back in the saddlebags, rolled up the blanket they had been sitting on, and picked up Belle's bag to attach it to the saddle as well.

When he picked it up, though, a book fell out. Surprised, Rumple bent down to see what it was. He hadn't thought she'd brought any books other than Henry's, although he wasn't surprised. The girl was always reading. But when he picked up the book, he suddenly became very worried. The title was _A Traveler's Guide to Magic and Adventures. _Why did Belle have a book like that?

Rumple quickly flipped through the book, and just when he started to think it was just a harmless book, he got to the last section. The last section was about survival; it had detailed explanations on how to survive in the wilderness. Harmless enough, perhaps even helpful. That wasn't what worried him. What worried him was _how _the book taught survival.

The last section of the book was about spells. It told the reader how to cast certain spells that can be used for survival, and it even included the origins of the spells and exact measures to take when casting them.

The problem was, the spells in the book were dark magic. The author had clearly left that detail out. If anyone knew the dangers of dark magic, it was Rumple. His worry only increased as he read through the spells. He realized that the author had clearly described what the spells were used for, but had said nothing about what casting each one would cost. _All magic, _he thought to himself, _especially dark magic, comes with a cost._

He recognized some of the spells, and they weren't ones he would advise anyone to cast. Some of them were ones he had never even cast himself. Surely Belle knew the dangers involved in something like this?

The more he thought about it, his worry transformed into anger. Hadn't Belle learned by now that magic is dangerous? Why was she messing around with this stuff? Had she already tried magic herself?

Just when Rumple thought he needed to go to the stream and confront her, he heard leaves crunching under Belle's footsteps as she approached their little campsite.

When she was within view, Belle saw that Rumple already had everything ready to go. He was facing the horses with his back to her, so she called out, "Leaving already?" She said it in a sweet but still mildly sarcastic tone, "I rather enjoyed sitting here under the trees for a while."

Of course she was joking, so she was momentarily taken aback when Rumple turned toward her. She immediately recognized the anger in his face, and she could tell he was upset with her. His expressions were different when he was mad at someone else; he'd get a faraway look in his eyes that told her he was thinking of all the times that person had wronged him.

But now, behind the anger, he looked hurt. He always did when they had a fight, like the anger was half with her and half with himself. It was always more emotional when he was angry with her.

Belle was frightened, and had to stop herself from thinking back to the previous times she had seen that look on his face. They were not times she wanted to remember. _Stop being emotional, _she told herself. _Think, and figure out what is wrong. _Rumple hadn't said anything to her, just stood there looking into her eyes with that half-angry, half-sad stare, and she could feel his accusations burning through her even without any words having passed between them.

Belle averted her gaze from his eyes, afraid that if she kept looking at him she'd lose control of her own emotions, and that would only complicate things. As she looked down, she saw the book in his hands.

The book! He found her book. She still hadn't really thought about why she hadn't told him she had it, but now she wished she had been more honest, both with him and with herself. Feeling the need to say something now, Belle took a deep breath to get control of her voice and said, "Rumple, you found my book." Even to her it sounded like a dumb thing to say, but she didn't want to complicate things further.

Rumple looked at her with that look that she hated to see, but this time she forced herself to hold his gaze. She briefly wondered what he could read on her face, but her musings were interrupted when he said, "Belle, why do you have this? Why didn't you tell me you were reading something like this?"

He sounded angry, but she could detect a hint of worry behind his anger. Belle shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "I found it at the library. It was out of place, so I picked it up, and I saw it didn't have an author, so I took it back to my desk and tried to see if I could figure out who wrote it and where it should go." That was the truth, the beginning of it, at least.

That wasn't what Rumple wanted to hear. Instead of waiting for her to finish, Rumple said angrily, "But why did you bring it? Why do you still have it?"

Belle didn't understand what the problem was. "It's just a book, Rumple. I forgot to put it back, and then I thought, if we were going to travel, I'd bring it along. It's just a book," she repeated, "It's harmless enough…"

"Harmless?!" Rumple shouted, not thinking about how his words came out. "Do you know what this is? It certainly isn't _just a book_," that last part came out in a harsh, mocking tone he hadn't been meaning to use.

Rumple was in a rage now, not thinking about how his words might hurt his wife. "This book is dangerous! Why didn't you tell me when you brought it back from the library? Do you not trust me enough to tell me, or did you want it to be a secret?"

He wasn't being fair, and his words stung. Belle looked like she'd been slapped, but Rumple didn't notice. He was too angry to see what he was doing. Belle knew she shouldn't give in to her own anger, but she couldn't help it. "Of course I trust you!" She yelled. "And no, I don't know what that is. To me, it IS just a book! I would never keep a secret from you if I thought it would be dangerous. Don't you know that? Don't you know me well enough by now?"

He didn't respond, and he wasn't mollified by her words. Seeing that she wasn't getting through to him, Belle decided she needed some time alone to think this through. She wasn't going to be able to reason with herself, let alone with him, in this state of mind. She turned to go back to the stream, but before she left, she couldn't help but leave him with one final retort. "Besides, keeping secrets is your specialty, not mine." And with that she was gone.

* * *

><p>Rumple found himself alone with the horses, still fuming inside. Nothing Belle said had gotten through to him, not until that last sentence. That last one hurt. He knew he had kept too many secrets from her in the past, had lied to her, and still she trusted him. Still she loved him.<p>

When his anger finally subsided, Rumple began to think more clearly. Perhaps she hadn't gotten to the back of the book. Maybe she had, and she honestly didn't know what it was. Maybe she hadn't meant to keep it a secret from him. It was possible that she had just thought it was another book.

Rumple was upset with himself now. He realized he'd let his emotions get in the way of seeing the truth. He had gotten so angry because he had been worried about Belle's safety. He hadn't wanted her to endanger herself by using magic. If something bad had happened to her, he never would have been able to forgive himself. And he had been mad because he thought she was keeping it from him. Thinking it over, though, he realized that she would be the last person to keep magic a secret from him. She hated what magic had done to him, hated that it had turned him into a monster. She wouldn't have practiced it herself, especially not without telling him.

The more he thought about it, he realized he had been too harsh with her, and he wanted desperately to say he was sorry, to tell her that he'd let anger get the best of him, to have her back in his arms.

But it was too late. She was gone.

* * *

><p>Belle sat down on a large rock by the stream, and cried silently to herself. She knew she should have been calmer, should have tried to get him to see reason. She shouldn't have given in to anger that easily, yet she had. He'd been so unfair, accusing her of lying to him and keeping secrets.<p>

_Well, you did keep it a secret, _she thought, and was even more upset, this time both with herself and with Rumple. Why hadn't she told him about the book earlier, so this whole mess could have been avoided?

But what was there to tell? She really didn't know. She swiped at the tears on her face, trying to remain calm and figure it all out. She hadn't let herself dwell on why she hadn't told him about the book when she had first brought it back from the library, but now she had to figure out why she had done that.

Because it felt like the safest thing to do? That wasn't really an excuse. _It's just a dumb book, _she thought. She didn't tell him every time she brought a book home to read, so why did it matter so much that she hadn't told him about this one?

Was it because the title had magic in it? Belle hadn't read through the whole book, but the parts she had read just described some magical creatures that lived in their lands, warning travelers of the dangers of these beasts. There had even been a section on the Yaoguai, and she was disappointed when it had only stated that the beast mysteriously disappeared a few years before the Queen's curse. Some of her anger subsided and she managed a small, inward smile as she thought, _because I saved him. Dumb book._

That dumb book had caused her too much pain. She still didn't understand why Rumple had gotten so upset about it, so she tried to think about exactly what he had said. _Do you know what this is? _and_ This book is dangerous! _Dangerous? What was he talking about? Belle suddenly found herself wishing she had finished reading the entire book, because she wasn't really sure what all was in it.

What could have been dangerous about it? It was just a book! Frustrated with herself, Belle couldn't help but hear Rumple's mocking voice in her head, _It certainly isn't just a book. _The way he had said that made her angry, as if he thought she was too dumb to understand the significance of it.

Despite her best efforts to stay calm, Belle had made herself angry again, and she sat there staring out into the water, wishing she had never found that dumb book on the shelf in the library.

* * *

><p>Back in the forest, Rumple sat down on the ground and began to chastise himself for his total lack of control. He was married now, and he needed to remember that. He too often lost control of his emotions, said things without thinking, and he always regretted it. When he'd finally found Belle and the curse had broken, it had been hardly a day before he'd said something stupid and lost her again. He hadn't really expected her to come back, but she had.<p>

She always came back. She always forgave him, and to this day Rumple still didn't understand why. He didn't deserve it, really didn't deserve her.

In spite of himself, Rumple found himself thinking of the deepest of his fears, one he hardly even admitted to himself. He was afraid, secretly, that one day he'd say something or do something that she couldn't forgive. He was afraid she'd leave him. Why wouldn't she? He was a difficult man to love. He'd always lost everyone he cared about, and eventually, he'd lose her, too.

No, he couldn't let himself think like that. He couldn't give into that despair, or he'd ruin the new marriage he had just created. _Belle is different, _he told himself. _She's not Milah, she won't leave. _He wanted so badly to believe that. He couldn't imagine what he would do if he lost Belle too. She was the only one who could see the good in him, and if he lost her, he'd lose the good in him as well. He couldn't let that happen.

Afraid of losing himself in despair, Rumple decided he'd get up and do something about it. He had always apologized to Belle, but in the past he had waited for her to come back to him. This time, he was going to go find her, to apologize, and show her that he really hadn't meant to hurt her, and make things right between them.

Getting up, Rumple took a deep breath and told himself he could do this. He was afraid of what she might say to him, what she might think of him when he found her, but he knew it was something he had to do. What was it that Belle had said to him so long ago? _Do the brave thing, bravery will follow. _She always was the smart one. Smiling through tears he tried not to shed, Rumple began walking toward the stream in the direction Belle had gone. It was time he made things right.

When Rumple heard the sound of the stream getting louder, he looked down and saw that the soft leaves under his feet had given way to mossy stones. He paused and took another deep breath, steeling himself against whatever might come. Emerging from the forest, he looked around, but he didn't see Belle.

Where had she gone? She should have been down here. As he looked, he saw the sun glimmer off of something lying next to a large stone to his left, and he cautiously approached. When he got closer to the object, he gasped and grabbed it quickly.

It was Belle's canteen. She'd been here, so where was she? And if she had gone somewhere, why leave her canteen here?

Rumple tried to tell himself not to worry, that she had probably just walked somewhere. But he couldn't suppress a feeling of dread, and he shivered.

Shaking his head, he tried to think clearly. "Belle?" he said, getting no response. Louder, he yelled, "Belle?"

Still nothing. "Belle, I'm sorry," he called, thinking that if she were still angry she might not want to talk.

_She probably heard you coming and hid, _he thought bitterly. "Belle, come out here darling. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't thinking. Please come out here so we can talk. I really need to talk to you," he was pleading with her now, and he knew she wouldn't be able to ignore him for long.

When he still got no answer, Rumple began to worry. He had the feeling he was talking to empty space, felt that she wasn't there at all.

"Belle…" he said trailing off. He tried not to get upset, but he couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault. What if she had gone off into the woods by herself and gotten lost? All because he hadn't taken a moment to think before he got angry?

He had made such a mess of this situation, and all he wanted to do was apologize. He wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry, that he hadn't meant to be so harsh. He wanted to hear her say she forgave him, and tell him in her most motherly voice that he ought to think before he spoke. He just wanted her back.

But she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Rumple wandered around aimlessly, trying not to blame himself for Belle's sudden disappearance. Trying, and failing. He was close to utter hopelessness, for he had no idea where to even start looking for her.

He wanted desperately to use magic, for how hard would it be to use a simple locator spell? He had plenty of her things back on the horses. He could find her easily that way. But he didn't dare.

Rumple didn't like feeling powerless, but that is how this unknown wizard was making him feel. He was unsure of what the wizard could do, so he was afraid to use his own magic. He didn't want to draw attention to himself and risk ruining their chances of getting the wizard to help them. But what else could he do?

As he walked along the stream, Rumple struggled with feeling both guilty and angry. Why had he let her walk away? Why hadn't he followed her immediately, to make sure she was okay? He couldn't answer that, and it frustrated him all the more. As he walked along the sandy bank of the stream, he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He kept calling out her name, hoping she'd hear him and come back.

"Belle?" He repeated her name until he lost count of the number of times he'd said it. "Belle, where are you?"

Eventually Rumple hit a turn in the stream, and, not knowing what else to do, he considered turning back. If Belle had gotten lost, maybe she'd gone back to their campsite? She was smart, and that would be the smartest thing to do. If she had gone back, it wouldn't help if she went there and he was nowhere in sight. He knew going back was the logical thing to do, but he didn't want to give up searching for her, for that would mean admitting defeat.

_She'll come back, _he told himself, _she always does. Wandering aimlessly won't accomplish anything. _Reluctantly, and with one more call of her name, Rumple turned around and slowly made his way back to the campsite.

By the time he reached the campsite, he had convinced himself she'd be there waiting for him. As he walked up the bank and came within view of the horses, the sun was already starting to dip behind the trees. "Belle," he said, convinced she'd be there. "I'm so sorry, Darling. Can we talk?"

He got no response. Rumple quickened his pace and covered the last bit of ground left between him and the spot where they had eaten lunch, and was dismayed to find it empty of all but the horses. Belle's purse was lying on the ground where he had dropped it, and with slumped shoulders he walked over and picked it up. Gently wiping the dirt off it, Rumple ignored the tears in his eyes as he gingerly strapped it onto Nadia's saddle.

Rumple stroked the horse's mane, smiling through his tears as he remembered Belle's girlish blushing as she picked out names for their horses the day before. The more he thought of her, the angrier he became with himself, and he buried his head in the horse's mane.

He couldn't keep the unwanted thoughts out of his head. What if he'd truly lost her this time? What if something had happened to her, and she didn't come back? And it was all his fault! He couldn't even bear the thought of that, knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself, knowing she had run away because of him, never knowing what really happened to her.

He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved, and many times it had been his fault. He thought losing Bae was the worst thing that could ever happen to him, but now, as he stood there contemplating losing his Belle, he couldn't take it. Rumple suddenly lost control, and gave in to his tears. He'd really messed it up this time, and now it was too late to do anything about it.

As if to tell him to get it together, Nadia snorted and began stomping her feet. Rumple looked up, and, wiping away his tears, tried to pull himself together.

Then he heard it. It was as if the wind had picked up, but it had an eerie sound to it. B the horses were snorting and pulling at their ties, clearly agitated. Worried, but also intrigued, Rumple looked around.

He recognized the sound, and it wasn't a welcome one. It rang through the trees, rustling the leaves, challenging Rumple to do something about it. Someone was practicing magic. Angry, Rumple yelled, "Show yourself!"

"Looking for her?" A voice said from behind him, and Rumple spun around.

"Belle!" He yelled, seeing her lying on the ground and immediately running toward her/

"Oh, don't bother," the voice said, coming now from the opposite direction.

Rumple spun back around and yelled, "What did you do to her?! Who are you?!"

"You don't know who I am?" The old man said, and then added, "I know who you are, Dark One." He said the title with a sneer, as if it was more of a joke than a name.

Rumple stared at him with hatred in his eyes, and then decided he didn't matter. Turning back to where Belle was lying, he covered the last few feet between them and picked her head up, sitting down and cradling her head in his lap. She was breathing, that was a good sign.

Rumple murmured, "Belle, it's me. It's Rumple. I'm so sorry Belle, can you hear me? I'm so sorry…"

"No, she can't here you."

Rumple had forgotten that the man was even there. Turning toward him he yelled "Who are you?!" glaring at the man with murder in his eyes.

The old man simply chuckled. "I'm the man you've been searching for," he said, and smiled menacingly when Rumple looked at him in shock. "My name is Merlin."

"You're the wizard in Henry's book," Rumple said, more to himself than to the mysterious figure before him.

"Yes, that's what the book calls me," he said sarcastically. "But I prefer magician. And I know all about your little quest to find me. Well, here I am, Dark One. What do you want?"

Rumple looked at him in shock, trying to figure out how his plans had gone so incredibly wrong. "H-how do you know about my 'quest'?"

Merlin simply shrugged, then glanced down at the girl Rumple held in his arms. "She told me."

Rumple's rage came bubbling to the surface again and he repeated angrily, "What did you do to her?" Then, "Why did you go after her? Why not just come to me?"

Merlin looked at him like he was dumb. "Because you're the Dark One," he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And you care about her. Judging by that ring on her finger, you _really _care about her. And she doesn't have magic. She was a much easier target."

"TARGET!?" Rumple yelled, and would have leapt to his feet and strangled the man if he hadn't had Belle in his arms. He was reluctant to let her go, found it hard to put her down.

"Yes," Merlin said in an annoyingly matter-of-fact way. "I needed to make sure you were, how to say it, _receptive_ to me when I came to talk to you. As for your other question, I put her under a sleeping curse. I'm sure you know how to break it. She'll be fine."

Rumple sighed heavily with relief, and looked down at his beautiful sleeping wife. "I'm so sorry Belle," he whispered again, before taking off his coat and balling it up. He put the balled-up coat down on the ground and gently laid Belle's head on it before he got up and approached the man.

"So you came to talk to me," he said, forcing himself to get his emotions under control. "Why? I am the one seeking your help."

Merlin nodded. "Yes, in a most noble cause, to bring back the son who gave his life to save you. The Dark One is reformed," he laughed sarcastically.

Rumple wanted to kill him, but remembered that he needed this man's help. Not trusting himself to keep from giving in to his anger, he waited for Merlin to continue talking, wishing Belle were awake to help him. He always found it easier to control himself when she was there with him.

"I've been living in this realm for a while now, Rumplestiltskin," he said, "And I've heard a lot about you. People are afraid of you, they say you control everything that happens here. Yet, no one has seen you in a very long time. What did you do, run away to a secluded island with your wife the maid?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Rumple couldn't contain himself any longer.

"She's not a maid!" He yelled, "She was a princess! She sacrificed herself to save her people!"

"Yes, that's right," Merlin laughed, amused. "She was a princess, until you came into her life, and ruined it."

Rumple lunged at him then, unable to control the burning fury inside him. Forgetting that Merlin had magic, he found himself grasping at air.

Behind him, Merlin laughed. "You should know better than that, Dark One," he chided, only angering Rumple more.

"What do you want from me?" He yelled, forgetting for the time being that this man was his only hope of saving Baelfire.

Merlin smiled. "Where were you the last few decades, Rumplestiltskin?"

Rumple glared at him, sighed angrily, and, seeing no other option, decided on the truth. "I was in another realm. I built the curse the Queen cast on this land so that I could go there and find my son. Now, are you going to tell me why you sought me out?"

"And look where that got you," Merlin laughed. "You found your beloved son, only to lose him again. And now you need my help to save him."

Rumple sighed, trying to get control of his anger. Closing his eyes, he said, "Yes, I need your help. So why are _you_ here?"

"Because I need something from _you_." At that, Rumple opened his eyes and stared at Merlin, waiting for him to continue. "I need you to retrieve something for me. It requires magic to get it, and not the kind of magic I can do," he admitted.

"So what is it?" Rumple asked, forgetting about his anger, intrigued now.

"It's a book," he said, and watched as Rumple tried to figure out what he meant. Going on, he said, "A book that is hidden inside the realm's largest library, the one the Queen put all the books of the realm inside."

Rumple was nodding. "All the books she took from the people. They're in her castle. That's why you were there." Merlin nodded, so Rumple asked, "Why can't you get it yourself?"

"Because, as I said, my magic denies me access to this particular book."

Rumple nodded again. "Okay, simple enough. We will go to the castle with you and get this book. Then will you help me save my son?"

Merlin smiled mischievously. "You'll have to wait and see."

Rumple shook his head. "That's not a deal, dearie," he said threateningly.

"Well," Merlin shrugged, "It's my deal. Take it or leave it."

Rumple didn't want to agree to this, but he had no choice. Besides, how hard could it be to get a book out of a library? "Fine," he spat angrily. "I'll take your deal."

"Good!" Merlin smiled. "Oh," he said quickly, with a mischievous smile that Rumple didn't like at all. "There's a catch. Getting the book requires light magic, and, you don't have that, do you?" He smiled, amused with himself. "But," he said, looking at Belle, "She can. Teach her magic, and then I'll be back." And with that he was gone.

Rumple stood there in shock. Teach Belle magic? How could he do that? All he wanted was to protect her from the dangers of magic, and look where he was now. Now, he had to teach her? And teach her to use light magic? He didn't even know how to use light magic? How could he teach her?

Worried, he ran back to where she was still lying on the ground, and looked at her. He stroked her hair out of her face, gently caressing her cheek as he struggled with what he should do. "I'm so sorry Belle…." He said again, and then picked her head up and hugged her to him, willing her to wake up.

"Come back to me, Belle," he pleaded, "I need you. I don't know what to do. I need you Belle…" But his pleas drifted off into the dusk sky, unheard, and unanswered.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Rumple knew he had to get Belle somewhere safe, and now that he didn't care about the wizard and his magic anymore, he gathered his sleeping wife in his arms and took them and their horses back to the castle in a haze of purple magic.

Walking up the long spiral stairs into the bedchamber, Rumple gently sat Belle down on his bed and walked over to the windows. It was cold in the chamber, so he closed the window against the autumn chill. After making sure Belle was tucked in the covers, he went to the hearth and started a fire.

He stared into the blazing inferno for a long time, letting it warm his front, thinking.

The heat, though, couldn't reach the cold dread he held in his soul. He knew he needed to wake Belle up from the sleeping curse, but he was afraid. He didn't want to teach her magic, he didn't even want to ask that of her. He wanted more than anything to find a way to save Baelfire, but he couldn't ask Belle to do something like that. This was his quest to save his son, not hers. He couldn't ask her to sacrifice herself for him. But what other option did he have?

Even worse, he knew what she'd say if he did ask her. Walking over to sit beside his sleeping wife on the bed, he gently moved the hair out of her face and put his hand on her warm cheek. "Oh Belle," he sighed sadly, caressing her face. "I wish I could ask you what to do, but I know what you'd say. I know you would do anything to help me. You wouldn't even hesitate, you'd be upset that I didn't ask you right away. But that's the problem. I can't make you do this, Belle. I can't risk losing you…. I can't…." He trailed off, not wanting to voice his true fears, as if that might somehow make them come true.

But if he wanted to be honest with her when she awoke, he needed to be honest with himself now. "I can't ask you to do this. If we did, and something were to happen to you… I'd never forgive myself, Belle. I never forgave myself when I lost you the first time. I never thought you were coming back, I thought you were dead, and I never forgave myself for letting you go. I can't do that again, Belle, I can't lose you again…"

Rumple wondered briefly if they would be doomed to spend their lives losing each other over and over again. When they had gotten married, Belle had said, _I have not spent my life losing you, I've spent my life finding you. _Well, not having to find each other would be a lot better.

Shaking his head, Rumple tried not to think of all the times he'd lost her. Some memories were just too painful, and some he hadn't even let himself remember.

Letting his memories fade back into the past, Rumple brought himself back to the problem at hand. He thought about what he'd heard from Ms. Blanchard, Henry, and others who'd been in sleeping curses, and realized that he was being extremely selfish by keeping Belle under the curse to give himself time to think. That wasn't fair. Leaning down, he whispered, "I love you, Belle," and gently kissed her.

Belle sighed, and Rumple took her hand in his, smiling as she slowly opened her eyes. "Welcome back," he whispered, unable to keep his eyes dry.

Belle looked around, then looked up at him. "Rumple?" She asked, and when he smiled, she asked, "Where…. Where am I? What happened?"

"It's okay Belle," he said gently, "You're safe now."

Belle blinked several times, trying to sort out what had been a dream and what had been reality. She pushed herself into an upright position, and looked around again. Realizing she was back in the bedroom in Rumple's castle, she thought it was all a dream. Had the entire past day been a dream? Had they ever even left the caslte?

Seeing the look of confusion on her face, Rumple asked quietly, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I… I'm not sure…." Belle stammered, and Rumple looked at her, concerned. "Was… was that all a dream?"

"No, no you weren't dreaming," Rumple said, "You were under a sleeping curse. Do you remember who cursed you?"

As her memories slowly came back, Belle began to nod slowly. So the past day hadn't been a dream. Then why were they back at the castle? How had they gotten back so quickly? And who was the mysterious man who had cursed her?

Trying to focus her thoughts and make sense of everything, Belle said, "Yes, yes I remember. It was a man, he… He came up to me and asked me if I needed help. I… I said no, I was okay. Then he grabbed my arm and he pricked my finger and then…." Belle trailed off again, sure that everything after that had been a nightmare.

Rumple saw the frightened, faraway look in her eyes. He knew what she had been through under the curse. "And then you went to the burning red room," he prompted. When Belle nodded, he saw the tears in her eyes, and he regretted taking her through it again. "Pricking one's finger is the easiest way to enact a sleeping curse. That's why he did that. The burning room is where everyone under the curse goes." He could see that his words were upsetting her, and he moved up onto the bed so he could put his arms around her. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry Belle… For everything."

She didn't say anything for a while, just laid there, trying to make sense of all that she had gone through, and everything Rumple had just told her. So their fight hadn't been a dream. Clearly he wasn't still angry with her. What had she missed while she was asleep? Deciding she needed answers, Belle turned and laid her head on his lap so she could look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry too, Rumple," she said. "I shouldn't have brought that dumb book with me. And I should have told you about it. And what I said at the campsite, that wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry."

Rumple gave her a sad smile, amazed that she was apologizing to him. "You have nothing to apologize for, Belle," he whispered. "It was all my fault. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you, I was just scared. That book, it had dangerous things in it, Belle. Magic. Things I… I didn't want you to get involved in," he hurried through that last part, hoping she wouldn't catch the irony it held for him now. "I shouldn't let the anger get the best of me, I know that now. I should have asked you about it, and I'm sorry." He paused, and before she could respond he said, "And you had every right to be upset with me. As for what you said before you left, it was nothing more than the truth."

Belle sat up now, touched by the raw emotion in his voice. She wanted to forgive him, but she still needed answers. She gave him a small smile, putting her hand softly on the side of his face. "Why were you so upset about the book?" she asked innocently. "Honestly Rumple, if I thought it was dangerous I would have told you. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I don't see why it matters."

Rumple nodded. So she really didn't know. "Did you read the back of the book? The final section?" He asked.

Belle shook her head. "I didn't get that far."

Rumple sighed, angry with himself for not asking her that in the first place. "Well," he said, "The final section of your book contains a list of spells to be used for survival. It is very detailed about how to enact them and what to use them for, but it conveniently forgets to notify the reader that the spells are dark magic. They are dangerous spells, Belle, and when I saw them I was afraid. I was afraid that you had been messing with things beyond your comprehension, and I didn't want any harm to come to you. I let my fear give way to anger, and it blinded me. I should have asked you Belle, I'm so sorry."

He looked like he was going to cry then, so Belle put her head on his shoulder and said, "It's okay Rumple, I'm okay now. I didn't cast any of the spells, so you don't have to worry. And you saved me from the sleeping curse, so I think you more than made up for it." He could hear the smile in her voice when she said that last part.

Still upset with himself, Rumple murmured, "But if it weren't for me, you would never have been put under the curse," and she laughed lightly.

"I'm trying to forgive you Rumplestiltskin," she said in the lovingly chiding voice that he loved to hear. "Try to just accept my forgiveness, and stop making it harder, okay?"

He laughed at that, once again marveling at the wonderful girl he held in his arms. "Alright darling," he whispered in her ear, "I gratefully accept your forgiveness, and will be eternally grateful that you are always so willing to give it to me."

"Of course I'm willing," she said, "I love you."

Looking into her eyes, Rumple said, "And I love you, too." He kissed her then, and she kissed him back, in one of those long, lingering kisses that they always shared after making up from a fight.

When they pulled apart, she put her head on his shoulder, and he decided that he wouldn't tell her any more until the morning. "Try to get some sleep darling," he whispered, "we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and you've been through a lot."

Belle smiled into his shoulder and agreed to get some sleep. They both laid down in each other's arms, and as they drifted off to sleep all they thought about was each other.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the night, Rumple was awoken by a muffled sob. Still half asleep, he thought he had been hearing things, and lay back down and closed his eyes. Then he heard it again, and, more awake this time, he looked down at the girl in his arms.<p>

Belle was still asleep, but she was crying off and on. When Rumple's mind had fully awoken and he remembered the events of the previous day, he knew what was happening. He needed to wake her up.

"Belle," he said, shaking her shoulder. She didn't wake up, continued to sob. "Belle!" he said, louder this time.

That got through to her. Belle woke up slowly, not remembering where she was. "Rumple?" she murmured, and began crying again.

"Shhh, it was just a dream, sweetheart," he whispered, hugging her tighter. "You're alright now."

"I… I was back…. Back in the room, the burning one," she sobbed.

"I know, I know. It's an effect of the curse. But it's okay, it was just a dream."

He hugged her again, and Belle jumped. "Ouch," she said, grabbing her arm.

Rumple knew what was happening. "Let me see it," he said, and took her arm in his hand. It was badly burned. "It's part of the curse. While this recurring nightmare is just an effect of the sleeping curse, the room itself is real. You are no longer cursed, but you can still visit the dream world, and anything that happens to you there is real. Thankfully, I can take care of this," he informed her, and waved his hand over her arm to heal it with magic.

"Thank you," Belle said, for it was all she could really think to say. "Will… Will this dream keep coming back?"

"It's different for every person," he told her, "But you will learn to manage it over time. Don't worry, I'll help you. And every time you try to go back to sleep, I'll be right here with you. You don't have to worry about the dream world hurting you, I promise."

Belle smiled at him, and said, "I know you will. But I don't think I'm interested in going back to sleep tonight. I've had my fill of sleep recently."

"I'm sure you have," Rumple said, returning her smile.

Belle looked at him for a while, and then she thought about what he had just done. "Rumple," she said, concerned. "Why did you use magic?"

Rumple was still tired, so he didn't immediately think about her question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Belle said, "yesterday you said using your magic here was dangerous now. But you just used magic." As she talked, she remembered that she had missed a lot of the previous day, being under the curse for most of it. "What did I miss?"

Rumple sighed and looked away, not wanting to tell her what had happened that morning. He wanted to find another way, to go back to the wizard and force him to make a new deal. But he knew that couldn't happen. And, if he told Belle what the wizard had said, she'd be willing to do what he wanted. It was the brave, selfless thing to do, and that's who she was. _That's why you love her, isn't it? _He asked himself, smiling briefly.

Watching him, Belle could tell he was reluctant to tell her something. "Rumple," she said, again using her chiding, motherly voice with him. "Haven't I told you often enough by now? You can tell me anything."

Rumple took a deep breath, looked into her eyes, and said, "I know darling, I'm sorry." He couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes, so he glanced down. "It's just…"

He trailed off, and Belle sensed that she was going to have to work for the information she wanted. "So, before, you didn't want to use magic because you didn't know what kind of magic the wizard had, and what he had power over. Now, you used magic to heal my arm." She paused, thinking. "Also, the last time I remember being awake was past midday. It was barely dusk when you woke me, and we were already back at the castle. That means you probably used magic to get us back here, too." Once she'd sorted out the facts, Belle was ready to take a guess, and she continued.

"That means you aren't afraid of the wizard anymore, which means you must have met him. The man who cursed me, that was the wizard, wasn't it?" By the look on her husband's face, she knew she was right. Now that she'd figured that out, he had to tell her more. "If he put me to sleep, he must have wanted something from you. So what did he want, Rumple?"

Rumple looked at his wife, his face at first a look of shock. How did she figure that out? Once he thought about it, though, Rumple remembered who he'd married. Belle was the smart one, always able to figure out a puzzle. Even more, she had always had a gift for reading people, and was especially good at reading him.

Sighing, Rumple decided to tell her the truth. He wasn't very good at that, but he figured he had to start somewhere. "Yes, you're right. I did meet the wizard. His name is Merlin. He is the one who put you under the sleeping curse." Pausing, Rumple thought about how he wanted to phrase the rest of the story.

Impatient, Belle said, "Did you ask him about saving Neal? Can he do that?"

Rumple shook his head. "I didn't have to ask. He already knew all about our 'little quest'. He said he will see if he can help us, but only if we do something for him first."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Belle teased. Rumple pretended to take offense to that, and Belle laughed. "So what did he want?"

"A book," Rumple said simply, reluctant to go on.

"A book? How hard can that be?" she said, excited.

"Well," Rumple said, "This book is special. It's in the library in the Queen's palace."

"The Queen's library!" Belle exclaimed, really excited now. "I've heard of it! It's said to have the largest collection of books in all the realms! I've always wanted to see it! Oh Rumple, please tell me we get to go there!"

Amused by her girlish excitement, Rumple nodded. "Yes, we will be going there," he said, trying to look serious. "But it won't be that simple. The book Merlin wants, it's a special book. It will only reveal itself to someone who can practice light magic."

Confused, Belle looked at him. "Okay," she said. "So we find someone who has light magic and take them with us."

Not wanting to tell her the last part, Rumple looked away. Belle noticed the look on his face and said, "But it isn't that simple, is it?" Rumple just shook his head. "So what's the catch, Rumple?" Belle said, sobered by the slouch of his shoulders and the slight tremble she heard in his voice. His reluctance to tell her spoke volumes. Whatever he had to say, it wasn't good.

"He… He said not just anyone can get the book. If we want him to help us, it has to be you."

Shocked, Belle stared at him for a moment before responding. "Me? But I… I can't work magic."

"I know," Rumple said, ashamed that he was asking this of her. "He… He wants me to teach you."

Belle frowned at that, thinking. Have Rumple teach her magic? How? "How can you teach me light magic?" She asked. "You can't do light magic."

"No, I can't," Rumple said. "But you can. You have it in you, I don't. I can teach you what it takes to bring out the magic you have in yourself, and you will figure out the rest."

To Rumple's surprise, Belle looked excited. "Alright," she said, "So you teach me magic. Sounds like fun! Why are you so upset, Rumple?"

Rumple gave her a slight smile, always amused that she could read him so well. "Because Belle," he said seriously, "magic always comes with a price. Even light magic. I don't want you to have to do this, I don't want magic to do to you what it does to most people." Seeing that she wasn't worried, Rumple continued. "Belle, magic is dangerous. If I were to teach you, and something happened…." He couldn't continue, not trusting his voice to stay steady.

Belle gave him a knowing smile, and once more put her hand on his cheek. "I know, Rumple. I know you are worried about me, but it will be fine. I know more about magic than most people, I know how easy it is to give in to the power. But I won't. I've seen what magic has done to you, and believe me I won't let that happen to myself. I can do this, Rumple, trust me." She moved her hand to his chin, bringing his head up and forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Besides," she added, "With you to watch over me, nothing will happen."

Rumple wanted to believe her, but he was still worried. "It's just… This is my quest, Belle, not yours. You don't have to risk yourself for me. If you did, and something happened, I'd never forgive myself." Unable to hold it in any longer, a single tear ran down Rumple's face.

Belle smiled, and wiped the tear away with her finger. "Don't you remember," she whispered, "We're a family now. Your quest is my quest. We'll do this together." And with that, she hugged him, excited about what she saw as their upcoming adventure together.

Rumple held her to him, grateful that she was so willing to help him. He'd never understand how she could be so selfless, and couldn't help thinking that he didn't deserve her. Yet, here they were. She loved him, and he loved her. As long as they had that, nothing else really mattered. She as right, if they were going to do this, they had to do it together.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Rumple woke up the next morning and rolled over, expecting to find his wife still asleep by his side as usual. He was surprised, then, when the other side of the bed was empty. He laid there in confusion for a few seconds, before his mind fully awoke and he remembered the events of the previous day.

When had he fallen asleep? Belle obviously hadn't gone back to sleep, that's why she wasn't there. Rumple had planned on staying up all night with her, hoping that if he watched over her she'd be able to conquer the nightmares and go back to sleep. Clearly, the opposite had happened.

Rumple was startled when he heard someone approaching, then relaxed when he heard his wife's familiar voice. "Oh good, you're awake!" Belle smiled as she walked into the bedroom.

"Belle, I…" Rumple was going to say more, but he was interrupted by a yawn he couldn't manage to suppress.

Belle laughed and sat down next to him on the bed. "Don't bother apologizing for falling asleep last night, you needed it," she said, using her motherly voice with him again, before sarcastically adding, "Obviously," with a teasing smile.

How did she always know what he was going to say before he said it? She did that so often, and yet every time she did he was always surprised…

Rumple was still in a bit of a sleepy haze, and he realized he had been nodding off, and noticed also that Belle had been talking.

"…So I went down to see what it was. You know what I found?" She sounded so excited, and Rumple was embarrassed that he hadn't heard any of what she had said. Not knowing what else to do, he just shook his head, hoping she hadn't noticed his lack of attention.

Thankfully, she was so excited about whatever she was talking about that she hadn't noticed him at all. "There were some people in the marketplace, even though today isn't a market day, and they were all talking. You know what they were talking about?"

Rumple was suddenly confused. "Wait," he said slowly, "You went into town?"

Now it was Belle's turn to look confused. "Did you hear what I just said?" Rumple blushed again, and she realized he hadn't been paying attention. Laughing, she said, "Yes, I went to the market. You were still asleep and I was bored, so I went into the village to see what was going on. I was upstairs in an old house where a man was selling books when I heard a loud noise coming from the street, so I went down to see what it was."

That's what he had missed. Back on track, Rumple nodded for her to continue. "The people, they were all talking about Merlin. They say he's the new ruler of the kingdom, that ever since you and the Queen were taken by the curse he's been here and he's been ruling the entire kingdom. You know what else they said? They said he has been trying to find a way to go to another land. Another land! Do you know what that means?!"

Belle was so excited to share her news, but Rumple hadn't quite caught on yet. Seeing that he didn't know what that meant, Belle said, "He wants to go to our land! And if he is seeking a way to get to our land, then he can help us bring back Neal!"

That got Rumple's full attention. "He wants to go to our land?"

Belle nodded, excited. "The people say he wants to go to the land where the Queen's curse took everyone. That's our land!"

"Our land," Rumple laughed, briefly considering the irony that a few days ago they'd been back in Storybrooke, referring to the Enchanted Forest as "our land".

Belle didn't seem to hear him. "What I don't understand," Belle said, "is why he needs the book from the Queen's castle. If he wants to go to our land, why can't you make a deal with him to take him there, if, when we get back, he'll help us bring back Neal? What does he need the book for?"

Now Rumple was thinking. "Because," he said, "We don't have a way to get there. To get back. He needs the book to get to Storybrooke. We need the book to get to Storybrooke."

"I don't understand," Belle said, suddenly concerned. "Don't we have a way to get back? I mean, we left Neal's body there… I didn't really think about how we were going to get back, I just assumed…"

"Assumed I had a plan." Rumple finished her sentence for her, and she nodded.

"Do you?" She asked. "Have a plan? How are we going to get back?" She looked at her husband then, and saw in his eyes the faraway look he got when his thoughts were elsewhere. He made that face when he was thinking about Baelfire. She'd lost him again. "Rumple," she said, shaking his shoulder, "What are we going to do?"

Rumple looked into her eyes, but Belle had the feeling that he was looking right through her. Frowning, he suddenly stood up and headed for the stairs.

Knowing asking questions wouldn't get her anywhere, Belle followed him as he headed up the stairs into the tower of the castle that held his library.

When they walked in to the vast library, Belle couldn't help but remember the last time she'd been in here. "It's funny, you know," she said, to no one in particular, knowing Rumple wasn't listening. "The last time I was in here, Neal and I were trying to bring you back," the words were directed at her husband, but she knew his mind was elsewhere. "Now look where we are." She felt the need to fill the silence, even if he didn't hear her. When he found what he was looking for, he'd tell her.

Amusing herself, Belle tried to guess what he'd say when he did come around to revealing his plan. He'd use that tone that he always used when he was explaining something to her, sounding like a lover and a teacher at the same time, and he'd end his sentence with her name. _This is a very special place, Belle, _or, this time, she guessed it'd be _this is a very important book, Belle. _She laughed to herself, amused by how well she knew him, wondering if he knew she could do that.

When she heard Rumple's footsteps returning to her, Belle looked up. When their eyes met, she saw that Rumple's thoughts were back in the present; he had a plan. Smiling, Belle waited to see what he had to say, and to see if her predictions were right.

They were close. When Rumple reached her, she saw that he held a vial in his hand. When she asked what is was, he said, "This is a very powerful spell, Belle," and she laughed she was proven correct. Not noticing her glee, Rumple continued. "This vial contains the only bit of light magic I ever bottled. This," he said, holding it out for her to see, "This is where you will start."

Suddenly Belle's amusement was gone, replaced now by intrigue. Rumple watched as the emotions played across her face, at first confusion, quickly replaced with interest, and then her natural caution kicked in. Fighting the urge to take it from his outstretched hand, Belle tried to focus on the matter they had been discussing before. "That's where I'm going to start, what, learning magic?" She asked, and when Rumple nodded, she said, "Okay, but that doesn't explain how we are going to get back to Storybrooke."

Rumple looked excited and impatient when he said, "The book. The one Merlin wants you to get for him, its magic will allow us to travel across realms, to return to Storybrooke. But, as you know, the only way for us to get that book is for you to learn magic. So, are you going to take it?"

Belle looked at him warily, but her interest and curiosity won out over caution and she gingerly took the vial from his hand and began to study it. "It… it just looks like sand," she said, not seeing anything special in it.

"It is sand," Rumple said, and Belle looked up at him sharply. Laughing at the grimace on her face, he said, "there is magic in it, you just have to find it."

Belle nodded and said, "And how do I do that?" Her gaze slowly dropping back down to the object in her hands.

Without answering, Rumple walked toward the stairs and started to descend. "Are you going to tell me?" Belle said, but he was already gone. Flustered and a bit annoyed, Belle hurried after him.

When she got down the stairs, she found herself in the main hall of the castle, and, looking around, spotted Rumple at his spinning wheel. Why was he spinning? Why now? Confused, Belle strutted over and sat down next to him on the bench, still studying the vial.

"No," he said suddenly, and she looked up. "I'm not going to tell you. I can't tell you. You have to find your magic yourself. I'm going to show you what I do."

Unsure of what he meant, Belle just sat there and watched as he began to spin. When the straw turned into gold, he stopped, smiled, and held it out for her to see.

"I've watched you spin before," she said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"This is how I find my magic," he said, "Through spinning. You have to find a way to find your magic."

Belle was at a loss, so she said, "Have you ever taught someone to start using magic before?"

Rumple hesitated, not sure that was a story he wanted to tell her, but he slowly began to nod. "Yes," he said, "I have."

"And what did you tell them?" Belle asked. "How did you tell them to find their magic?"

Despite himself, Rumple grimaced. It wasn't a memory he wanted to partake in. "That," he said slowly, "Was different. I taught my last pupil dark magic. For me, it is a lot easier to come by," he said wryly. "But you, you have to find light magic."

"Okay," Belle said slowly. "Well, what's the first step? What should I do?"

Turning to her, Rumple let go of his dark memories and smiled. "Magic isn't about what you know, or what you think, or even what you do," he said. "Magic is about what you feel."

Belle nodded. "What I feel…." She trailed off as she continued to scrutinize the sand in the vial she held. "What I feel…"

Rumple began to shake his head. "No, you're thinking too much." Belle looked up at him, confused. Rumple laughed, "I know that face. That's the face you make when you are studying something, or reading a book you really have to think about. That's your thinking face."

Not aware of what face she had been making, Belle said, "My thinking face?"

Rumple laughed again. "Yes, your thinking face. The one where you furrow your brow and purse your lips," he laughed as Belle tried to imitate what he was saying. "Yes! That one," and this time they both laughed.

Trying to remain focused, Belle asked, "I'm thinking too much? What does that mean?"

Not exactly sure himself, Rumple asked, "Well, what were you thinking about?"

Belle took a minute to contemplate that before saying, "I was trying to figure out what I would do with this vial if I found magic. Would it just start glowing? How do I know how to find my magic if I don't even know what I'm doing with it?"

Rumple grinned at her. "See?" he said, amused. "You were thinking. Don't think so much. Don't worry about what you are doing, just let yourself feel."

Belle still didn't get it. "Feel what?"

That was the problem. Rumple wasn't really sure. When he had taught Cora to use magic, he had taught her to feel all her anger and pain, and to imagine unleashing it on her enemies. That was the easiest way to access one's dark magic. Light magic, though, was unknown territory to him.

Seeing the look of hesitation on his face, Belle prompted, "What do you feel? When you are spinning, what do you feel?"

Deciding honesty was the best course of action, Rumple paused, then said, "I remember how I felt the first time I held Baelfire in my arms, how I felt when his mother left, how I felt when I let him go, when I lost him, and how I felt when I finally found him again." Pausing, Rumple let himself get lost in his thoughts. Without really thinking, he said, "And I remember how I felt when I first met you."

Belle smiled, and couldn't keep herself from getting teary. When she looked at him, she saw that Rumple was really lost in his emotions, and he was spinning. Spinning straw into gold. He was physically there, but in his mind he was elsewhere. _That's how he does it, _she thought_, he lets himself get lost in the past, lost in his emotions and memories._

Following his example, Belle closed her eyes. She remembered being a little girl, sitting with her papa by the fire in the palace. She remembered how it felt when he hugged her, and how different it felt when he had hugged her goodbye. She remembered the fear she had had when she left that palace with the Dark One, but how proud she had been to know she had saved her family and her people.

She smiled to herself as she remembered how annoyed she had been at Gaston when he had put his arm in front of her like she needed protecting. How it had felt to tell her father that she was in control of her own destiny, her own fate.

She remembered how it had felt to fall in love, to find that there was a man behind the monster that everyone else saw, a man that only she could see, that only she could love. And she remembered what it had felt like to marry him, to make their love official, to promise each other that they would be together forever.

"Belle," Rumple's voice interrupted her memories, and she opened her eyes. "Look."

When she looked down, she gasped in surprise. The vial was glowing yellow.

"You did it," Rumple said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah…" She said, her voice a mixture of surprise and triumph, "Yeah, I guess I did." She sat there, staring at the vial, not really believing her eyes. Had she really done that? What exactly did she do?

"So," Rumple said cautiously, "How did it feel?"

"How did… how did what feel?" Belle stammered, feeling heat rising into her face.

"Using magic," he said simply, "How did it feel?"

"Oh…" Belle said, blushing even more now. "It… I… I didn't really know what I was doing, so… I didn't really feel like I was using magic, I just let myself think about my past, and about how I felt at certain times…" She trailed off, blushing again.

"That's good," Rumple said approvingly. "Very good. It's a start." With that he got up and headed back to the stairs.

"Wait," Belle called after him. "That's it? What do I do now?" She got no reply. Sighing, she decided Rumple made a far better husband than a teacher, and she rose and reluctantly followed him up the stairs.

When she got up the stairs, Belle suddenly had a question. "Rumple," she said, and he looked up from a book he had in his hands. "What was in the vial? You said you bottled light magic, but what was it?"

Rumple smiled at her. "I think you know." And he continued to read the book.

Frustrated, Belle walked up to him and took the book. "No," she said, forcing him to pay attention to her, "I don't know. What was it?"

Rumple began to laugh, and she only became more frustrated. "Patience dearie," he said, "Don't get upset. Light magic is hard to control, and if you let frustration and anger take over you won't be able to do anything."

Belle realized that made sense, and so she took a deep breath, reminding herself to stay calm. "So, what was in the vial?"

Rumple laughed again. "Calm, but still determined. I like it." The look on Belle's face told him praise wasn't going to be good enough for her. She wanted answers. Steering her toward a bench, Rumple sat her down and then sat next to her.

"If you want to know what kind of magic was in the vial," he said, and she nodded that she did. "Then think about what you were feeling when you enacted it."

Belle looked away and blushed, and Rumple smiled, knowing he was right. "You don't have to tell me, but think about it. What were you feeling right before I said your name?"

Belle continued to blush and stare at the floor. She had been thinking about him, about meeting him, falling in love and getting married. But what did that mean? What was in the vial? She had an idea, but was such a thing really possible?

The more she thought about it, the more excited Belle got, and without thinking she blurted, "Did you really do it? I didn't think it was possible to bottle true love."

Rumple smiled at her, and when she did make eye contact she realized what she had said and turned even more red. Trying to make it less awkward for her, Rumple laughed and said, "Yes, it is possible. I bottled true love, with a little unwitting help from our friends the Charmings. I wanted to bottle it because true love is the most powerful magic of all, but once I had bottled it I realized it was useless to me. I couldn't work light magic, and…" he paused before saying, "Only those who have true love can access its power."

Belle nodded. "When was it? I mean, when did you bottle it?"

Rumple gave her a sad smile, not sure he trusted himself to talk about it. "After… After I let you go."

Belle nodded, her smile gone. "So that's why you couldn't use it," she said.

He nodded. "I thought you were gone forever. Even before I lost you, I wouldn't let myself admit that someone could love me," he paused and looked at Belle's face, seeing his same emotions reflected in her eyes. "And then, once you were gone, I believed that I would never find someone who would love me again."

Wiping her eyes to keep from crying, Belle took a deep breath and then laughed unsteadily. "Well," she said, "You were wrong."

Rumple smiled and said, "Yes, I was wrong, and I've never been happier to be wrong in my life."

Belle laughed and hugged him then, and they both momentarily forgot all the weight they carried on their shoulders, and simply enjoyed reliving the life they had shared together, trying not to think too much about what lay ahead for them.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The first thing Belle became aware of was how cold she was. Unconsciously, she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. The next thing she noticed was that she was lying down. Uncomfortable, she slowly began to sit up, and, opening her eyes, blinked to adjust them to the dim light.

Where was she? Belle had no idea where she was or how she had gotten there, but the more she came to her senses, the more a sliver of fear worked its way into her mind. Sitting upright now, Belle found she had been lying on a wooden bench, one of the few objects around her. She was in a small room, the only light coming from a single candle on a table in the opposite corner.

Belle fought back panic, telling herself to remain calm. Trying to remember how she had come to be there, Belle closed her eyes. The last thing she could remember, she had been sitting with Rumple in the library, and then… Then nothing. She didn't remember anything about how she had gotten into this strange room, and the harder she tried to remember the more she began to panic.

Determined not to give in to her fears, Belle decided to focus on where she was at that moment instead of trying to remember how she had gotten there. What was past was past, and all that mattered at the moment was getting out.

Taking a deep breath and looking around for a door or window, Belle was dismayed to find none. _How could a room be built with no doors?_ As soon as she asked herself that question, Belle felt stupid. Rumple had created a vault with no doors or windows, one he could only access with magic. It was entirely possible that there were other rooms like that, and Belle figured this must be one of those. Sighing, Belle dropped her head and stared at her feet. Closing her eyes, Belle thought, _What am I supposed to do now? _

Telling herself that thinking like that wouldn't solve anything, Belle opened her eyes. When she did, she noticed a small piece of paper lying on the ground by her feet. Bending down, she picked it up. The light was too dim for her to make out the script that crawled across the parchment's brown surface, so she got up and walked over to the table and held it up near the candle, careful not to let it catch fire.

_Find your magic, it will show you the way out. _

And that was it. Although there was no name on the parchment, Belle recognized the handwriting. It was Rumple's. Was this some sort of test? Why would he do something like this? What if she got stuck in here forever? Belle started to get angry at him, why would he put her in here? Just as she felt anger taking her over, she fought it back. _No, _she thought_, you aren't going to get out of this by being angry. Focus._

The note said to find her magic. Belle thought about what Rumple did whenever he used magic. He would wave his hand and something would happen. Belle knew it wouldn't be that easy for her; she could barely even create her magic to begin with.

So how was she going to get out? Belle closed her eyes and pictured a door appearing on the wall. Waving her hand, she opened her eyes. She was dismayed to find nothing had happened and sighed in frustration.

_Okay, think. Rumple wouldn't have put you in here without a reason. What could he have wanted to accomplish? _Before, when Belle had worked magic, Rumple had given her the vial of true love, knowing that her feelings for him would be the trigger for her to find her magic. Using that same logic, Belle figured there had to be something in this room that would help her use magic.

But what? Looking around, Belle confirmed what she already knew. There was nothing in the room except a table, a candle and the wooden bench. How could she make a connection to anything?

Giving up on that train of thought, Belle sat back down on the bench in dismay. How was she supposed to get out? The more she thought about it, the less sense it made. She didn't even know where she was. Where was this room even located? It was obviously created with magic, so it could be pretty much anywhere. If that were the case, how could she just create a door and walk out? What if the room was under water, or in the sky? For all she knew, it could be.

Realizing that her thoughts were becoming sarcastic and bitter, Belle tried to remain calm. It wasn't easy, fighting both panic and fear, but she knew she had to. When Rumple had shown her how to use magic, she couldn't do it when she was frustrated or angry, so those emotions weren't going to get her anywhere.

Returning to the problem at hang, Belle realized she was right. She couldn't just make a door. So how could she escape? She'd seen Rumple appear and disappear magically, so could she do that too? Was it possible for her to simply transport herself out of here?

The thought of magically transporting herself from one place to the next seemed crazy, and Belle laughed. Despite her circumstances, she found it amusing that the only seemingly feasible possibility of escape was something that seemed so ludicrous.

_So how am I going to get out of here? _She thought._ How am I going to find my magic? _Belle considered all the times she had seen Rumple appear in a cloud of purple smoke, transporting himself with magic. As she tried to remember exactly what she had seen him do, she felt herself scrunching her eyebrows and frowning. When she did, she thought of what Rumple had said to her before, how he'd called that her "thinking face". Remembering that moment, Belle laughed to herself.

Then Belle realized that if she was making her "thinking face", she was probably thinking too much. That meant she wouldn't be able to use her magic. She had to let herself _feel._

Closing her eyes as she had the time before, Belle took herself back to the memories of her past. This time, she remembered how she had felt when the curse had broken, to find herself standing in the woods, suddenly being bombarded by memories of a life that she wouldn't have even imagined a few seconds before.

Idly twisting her wedding ring around her finger, Belle remembered the joy she had felt when Rumple had hugged her there in the woods, when she had finally gotten to tell him that she loved him, and when he had told her that he loved her, too.

Belle's musings were interrupted by a sharp pain in her finger. Annoyed, Belle looked down. She had been twisting her ring around her finger, and suddenly it had gotten extremely hot. It had burned her finger where she had been toying with it, but it didn't burn the finger she wore it on.

Confused, Belle studied the ring more closely, and as she did so it began to glow. Surprised, Belle watched as it got a bit brighter, but as she continued to watch, the glow faded back.

Belle didn't know why, or even how, but the ring's glow must have had something to do with her magic. It had glowed when she had been letting herself feel, but when she brought herself back to the present and began to think about it the glow had disappeared. Was her ring the link she was supposed to use? The vial had glowed when she had used magic the first time, and this time her ring had begun to glow. But what did that mean?

Belle thought back to the possible ways she could escape the room. If she really was going to transport herself somewhere, where would she go? She figured going to the last place she remembered being was a good place to start. That meant the library in Rumple's castle, where she had been sitting on a bench with him, reminiscing about their pasts.

So her destination was the library and the ring was her link to her magic. That made sense. She wanted to return to her husband, and her ring was her tangible link to him. She smiled at that thought, saying aloud, "You thought you left me alone in here, didn't you Rumple?" Thinking to herself that he had really been with her the whole time. Knowing him, he was probably watching her somehow. She laughed again, hoping he had heard that.

Glad to finally have some sort of plan, Belle closed her eyes once more and took herself back to the past. As she did so, she twisted her ring around her finger as she had before, and when it started to get hot she smiled to herself.

This time, instead of letting the ring go and opening her eyes, Belle thought about where she wanted to go. She pictured the library, she felt the bench under her and Rumple's arms around her. She willed herself to return to him, to go back to the last place she had remembered being.

As she did so, Belle was aware of a dramatic change in temperature. She was no longer so cold, she could hear things, too. Previously, it had been silent in the room. The eerie, intense silence that hurt your ears more than loud noises. But now Belle realized she could hear the whistling of the wind as it blew past outside.

Slowly, afraid of what she might find, Belle opened her eyes. To her delight and mild surprise, she was back in the library in the castle. _You did it!_ She thought to herself. _You made it._ Looking around, she was expecting to find her husband waiting to tell her how she had done on his little test.

It was a surprise, then, when Belle found herself alone in the library. Thinking that he had to be there somewhere, Belle called out his name. "Rumple?" She said quietly, somewhat expecting him to jump out of nowhere and scare her.

Thinking more logically, Belle figured he was behind one of the book cases. Raising her voice, she called again, "Rumple? Are you there? How'd I do?" But she got no response. Sighing, Belle went and sat down on the bench they had shared previously.

When had that been? Belle still didn't know how she'd ended up in the room with no doors, and she was annoyed to find she had no idea how much time had passed since. Had it been the previous day? To her, it felt like merely seconds had passed before she awoke in the room, but was that really the case?

It occurred to Belle that she had _awoken_ in the room. That meant that at some point she had to have gone to sleep. She didn't remember going to sleep, and for a terrible moment she entertained the thought that she had been put under a sleeping curse.

As soon as she conjured up that unwelcome thought, she banished it. That couldn't be the case, because she had woken up, and woken up alone. Rumple wasn't there, so there was no way she could have woken up from the sleeping curse, so that wasn't it. No, something else had happened.

If she had somehow fallen asleep, how much time had passed? How much had she missed? Belle realized that if she didn't even remember going to sleep, then there could be other gaps in her memory as well.

Already worried, Belle made it worse for herself by thinking of what all she could have missed. What if they had left the castle, and she and Rumple had gone somewhere else? What if he wasn't here, and she was supposed to go to the last place they had been, but she didn't remember where that was? What if she was in the wrong place?

Belle felt the panic rising in her, quicker this time than it had in the room by herself. If there was one thing Belle truly hated feeling, it was not knowing something. Knowledge had always been her weapon of choice, and now she felt as if it were failing her.

Telling herself to calm down, Belle forced the panic and fear to the peripheral of her mind and focused on the room in front of her. Not really sure what to do, Belle began to walk the length of the library, running her hand across the books as she went, looking for any clues as to what she was supposed to do now.

She was not disappointed. When Belle reached the end of the bookshelf, she noticed Henry's story book protruding from the shelf. Smiling, she pulled it out and opened it. When she did, another piece of parchment fell out of the book, and Belle bent down and picked it up.

_Belle,_

_If you are reading this, congratulations. You successfully found your magic. You are on the way._

_I'll be waiting for you in our favorite spot; I have a surprise for you._

_Well done my pupil, I'm proud of you._

_Love,_

_Rumple_

Belle's first reaction was annoyance. Why hadn't Rumple just waited here in the library for her, if he knew that's where she'd come back? Why let her go through the panic she just encountered? What was the point of any of this? Realizing how little she understood of her husband's plan, Belle resolved to get him to tell her everything when she found him.

That presented her next problem: where was he? Their favorite spot? What did that mean? Belle figured he wouldn't want her to travel around the Enchanted Forest alone, so he most likely meant somewhere in the castle. He knew that in any place the library was always her favorite spot, but clearly that wasn't what he meant. Momentarily confused, Belle frowned.

Then, she had an idea. There was only one place he could have been talking about. Her annoyance and confusion gone, Belle grinned and ran toward the stairs.

As Belle entered the great hall of the castle, her suspicions were confirmed and she grinned even wider when she saw her husband seated at his spinning wheel. She was excited to see him, but stopped herself from running to him and giving him a hug. _You have to be serious, you need answers from him,_ she reminded herself.

Rumple heard her footsteps as she entered the hall, and looked up from his spinning with a smile on his face. "I see you made your way out of my little room," he said, "Was it not to your liking?"

His sarcasm was belied by the smile he gave her, and Belle found it hard to remember she was upset with him. Smiling back, she walked over and took a seat next to him on the bench. "So," she said, "what was that all about?"

"What was what all about?" Rumple said, pretending to be aloof.

"Oh, I don't know," Belle teased, "locking me in a room with no doors, giving me a way to get back but then not being there, hiding a note in Henry's book, and" she added the last part with more excitement than she wished to show, "saying you had a surprise for me?"

Rumple smiled, "Oh, that," faking a surprised expression. "I needed to see if you could get yourself out of that room. I needed to know if you could work magic without me there to guide you, and if you could conquer your fears and get the job done." Looking into her eyes then, he added, "Obviously, you could."

Belle's smile faltered as she realized there had been a weakness in his plan. "What if… What if I couldn't do it? What was your plan then, Rumple? How would you have gotten me out of the room if I couldn't do it?"

Rumple looked confused. "I knew you could do it," he said honestly. "I wasn't worried." Seeing she wasn't convinced, he continued. "I had faith in you, Belle. Your magic is stronger than you think, and you are the smartest person I know. I never doubted you could do it."

Touched by his words, Belle joked, "I'm glad you were so concerned about my safety," but the harshness of her words was undermined by the smile on her face and he happiness in her tone. "So," she said, "What is your surprise?"

Rumple smiled and reached into his pocket. Slowly, he pulled out a necklace and held it up for you to see. It was a simple chain with a small, round pendant at the bottom. Noting the look of shock on her face, Rumple said, "It was yours. I found it Storybrooke, it must have come over with the curse and been lost, like most of the items in my shop. I had forgotten about it, until I saw it the day before we left. Since then, I've been waiting for the right time to give it to you."

Belle didn't know what to say, so she just stared at him, her face a mixture of happiness and surprise. "I… I thought I'd lost this forever," she said, not really believing her eyes. That necklace had meant so much to her when she'd first come to the Dark Castle, because it was the only link she had to her former life. When the curse had broken, she had wondered what happened to it, and now she wondered why she hadn't thought to look in Rumple's shop or ask him.

Rumple was still smiling at her. "Well," he said, "Sometimes the things we thought we'd lost for good have a way of finding us again," and Belle had the feeling he was talking about more than just the necklace.

Rising, Rumple walked to the other side of the bench and reached over Belle's head to put the necklace on her. When he had finished, he sat down behind her and wrapped her up in his arms.

Leaning back against him, Belle laid her head against his chest. "Rumple," she said, turning her head to talk over her shoulder. "What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, not sure he wanted to do much of anything at the moment.

"I mean," Belle sighed, "What is the plan? How are you going to teach me to be able to control my magic, and when you do, how will we find Merlin and get him to help us?"

Sighing, Rumple found himself wishing they could just sit there for a while longer, enjoying each other's company. He started to say just that, but he stopped himself. She deserved some answers, and he needed to let her in. Sighing, Rumple began to tell his wife exactly what he planned to do.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

When Rumple was done giving Belle all the details of his plan, she sat there in silence for a moment, taking it all in. She wasn't sure if she could do it; she wasn't sure if she had it in her. But if there was one thing Belle had learned throughout her life, it was to never give up.

Reading the worry on her face, Rumple smiled and took Belle's hand in his. "Belle," he whispered softly, and she raised her head to meet his gaze. "You can do this," he said, and she smiled and slowly began to nod her head. He added, "_We_ can do this."

Belle sat there for a moment longer, staring into his eyes, trying to take comfort and courage from his assurances. Then, heaving a long sigh, she said, "Well, we better get to work." Rising from the bench and pacing, she prepared herself to become a student again, and to do whatever was required of her for their quest to be a success. Then, looking at Rumple, she simply asked, "What's next?"

Rumple rose from the bench as well, and began to walk around the room, looking for something. As he was looking, he said, "Next, you must learn to control your magic. You'll need to be able to use it on your own terms, and without something to help you. For that, you must learn how to focus the energy you possess and bring it out when you want to."

He stopped then, and picked up a small golden bowl. Walking back to Belle, he held it out on top of his hand. "Put your hands on either side of it, but don't touch it," he instructed, and she did so. "Now, don't let it fall."

Belle looked at him questioningly, but he wasn't looking at her, he was staring down at the bowl. Not knowing what else to do, she looked down at it, too. He held it there for what seemed like an eternity, and then he let it fall from his hand.

It clinked on the floor. Belle was confused. How was she supposed to stop it from falling? Rumple bent over and picked up the bowl, then held it out the same as he had before. "Try again." Once more, the golden bowl fell and clinked on the cold tile floor. Once more he picked it up, and, saying nothing, held it out. "Don't let it fall."

By this time, Belle was frustrated and confused. Sighing angrily, she asked, "How?"

"You hold it," he said, and she grabbed it from his hand.

Holding it out as he had, Belle sarcastically attempted to mock Rumple's voice. "Don't let it fall." Rumple put his hands on either side of the bowl, and Belle tipped her hand to let it fall, just as he had. This time, though, it never hit the floor. It just stayed there, hovering, between his hands.

"How did you do that?" Belle said, amazed and annoyed at the same time.

When Rumple finally pulled his eyes away from the bowl and looked at her, the bowl fell from between his hands and hit the floor once more. "Concentration," he said, "That's the key. You have to concentrate on the bowl, concentrate on keeping it right where you want it. Your entire universe must come down to that bowl."

Belle nodded, determined to figure it out. "Okay, hold it out again," she said, and he did so. This time, Belle never looked away from the bowl. She thought of the entire universe, then brought her focus down to just the space around the bowl, determined to keep it right there. Rumple tipped his hand. The bowl fell.

Belle sighed angrily and looked up at Rumple. "What am I doing wrong?"

Rumple thought about it for a second before responding. "Well," he said slowly, "When I do it, I have to think about what it feels like to use magic. I have to remember exactly what my hands feel like, and exactly what I am thinking, and so on. So, think about the last time you used magic. What did it feel like?"

"I don't know," Belle said honestly. "I… I was just trying to escape that room, and all my focus was on the place I wanted to go. But, it was tiring, it felt like I was using all my energy…" She trailed off, trying to remember.

"You were," Rumple said. "Magic comes from within. You have it inside you, but it is part of you. When you use it, you spend your energy. Until you learn to control it more, it will wear you out."

"Okay," Belle nodded. "I remember…. Last time, it felt like I was pulling all the energy out of my body and putting that into the ring. Like I was transferring myself into the ring,"

Rumple nodded approvingly. "That's good, that's a start. Now what you want to do is focus your energy around the bowl. Envision yourself putting it in a big sphere of energy, and keeping it there. Put your energy around the bowl."

Belle nodded, and this time she picked the bowl up and handed it to him. "Let's try again." Rumple smiled approvingly; the girl had heart. Holding the bowl out, he watched as she stared at it for a few moments, unblinking, before she slowly put her hands on either side of the bowl.

She closed her eyes, and Rumple could see the concentration and determination on her face. He could tell she wanted it, and for a moment he feared she'd overdo it.

"Okay," she said, opening her eyes and staring at the bowl once more. "I can do it."

Slowly, Rumple tilted his hand, and the bowl slid off. It only went about an inch, and then stopped. Rumple grinned at Belle, but she wasn't looking at him. She was absorbed in the bowl hanging in the air between her hands.

"You did it, Belle," Rumple said. Belle didn't respond. "Let it go now."

Belle never heard him. She just stood there, staring at the bowl, not aware of what was going on around her. As Rumple watched her, he could see the color draining from her face. She was going too far.

She hadn't practiced enough, she didn't know how to keep the magic from taking all of her energy. If he let her go, she'd spend all the energy she had, and the magic would kill her. He had to find a way to stop her.

Grabbing her arm, Rumple shook it. "Belle!" He yelled, hoping it would break her focus. "Belle! You need to stop now."

Grabbing her shoulder, he kept shaking her, trying to break her focus. All of a sudden, the bowl fell to the floor with a loud clank, and Belle's eyes closed. She began to sway, and Rumple put his arms around her and caught her before she fell to the floor. Turning her over in his arms so he could look at her face, Rumple shook her gently and murmured, "Belle, Belle wake up."

Belle slowly regained consciousness, and, moaning, she tried to open her eyes. When she did, the light hurt, so she squeezed them shut again. She tried to bring her arms up to rub her eyes, but they were extremely heavy, so she sighed and let them drop down again, and slipped back into the comforting blackness behind her eyelids, letting the darkness envelop her.

"Belle, are you alright?" Belle wanted to keep drifting off, but Rumple's voice pulled her out of semi-consciousness. "Belle, open your eyes. Wake up, Belle."

Even in her exhausted state, Belle could hear the gravity and concern in Rumple's voice, and she could feel his arms tense up around her. He was worried. She didn't feel bad, and she wanted to tell him to just let her sleep, but it was difficult to move, and impossible to talk.

Not wanting him to worry or panic, Belle forced herself to open her eyes. Slowly, she tried to ignore the pain from the light, and forced her consciousness to return to her. As her vision returned, she became aware of a pounding headache, and she brought her heavy hand up to press against her temple.

When Rumple saw that she was awake, he was relieved. She had a lot of recovery to do, but at least now he knew she'd be okay. "Belle," he said softly, "Let's get you somewhere a bit more comfortable. Belle nodded absently, and, gathering her up as gently as possible, Rumple picked her up and held her to him. "Are you good?" he asked, and she nodded, then leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes again. Slowly, Rumple stood up and headed up the stairs to their bedroom.

Lowering her slowly down to the bed, Rumple gingerly pulled the covers up over her and then went in search of a glass of water. When he returned, he lit the fire in the hearth and went over to sit next to Belle on the bed.

She was awake now, if not entirely aware of what was happening. "Here," Rumple said, holding the cup out to her. "Drink this, it'll help." Belle slowly pulled her arms out from under the covers and took the cup from him with shaky hands. When she nearly dropped it, Rumple put his hands over hers and helped her hold the cup up to her lips so she could drink. When she was finished, he took it from her, and she put her arms back under the covers.

Closing her eyes so she could rest, Belle absently asked, "What happened? Did I do it?"

Rumple smiled at her, and gently stroked her beautiful brown hair. "Yes," he said, "You did it," and she smiled to herself. "You exhausted yourself. I tried to stop you, but I couldn't. I'm sorry Belle…" He said, more to himself than her.

This was exactly what he had been afraid of. He didn't have any power over light magic, so he couldn't stop her magic from taking her over. If she started doing something and the magic became too powerful for her, he had no way to protect her. Rumple suddenly found himself afraid, afraid that something would happen to her, and that he would be powerless to stop it.

He couldn't let anything happen to her, or he would never forgive himself. Without realizing it, Rumple had begun to cry. He also didn't realize that Belle had opened her eyes, slowly regaining her strength and her consciousness.

"It's okay Rumple," she said, struggling to sit up. "It wasn't your fault. And I'm fine now, it's okay," she said again, and slowly took his hand in hers.

Rumple smiled sadly at her. How ironic, that she was the one who had almost died, yet she was comforting him? Rumple had never been very good at expressing his emotions, but Belle had a way of seeing right through him. He always knew what needed to be said, and Rumple found he relied on that more than he had realized. If it weren't for Belle, he would surely have given in to his despair a long time ago.

At times, it frightened Rumple to know that he had let someone so far into his life. There was a time where the thought of ever letting someone know how he felt was unfathomable to him. Then Belle came along. She'd changed his life. When they had met, he wasn't ready to let her in. He couldn't risk losing his power, and he couldn't admit to himself that he was capable of loving someone.

But once he lost her, he regretted it every day. She had been the only light in his life, the only one who could see who he really was. The only one who could ever love him. And she was gone.

Then, as if by some miracle, she was returned to him. She just walked into his shop, walked back into his life, and changed it again. He'd failed her many times since then, but she'd learned to read him. She'd never given up on him, no matter how many times he messed up, and now, even when he had messed up once again, she was there to tell him that it would be okay, that she would forgive him, and that she would never leave him.

"Rumple," Belle's voice snapped him out of his reverie, and he looked at her blankly. "Will that happen every time? Or will I be able to control it?"

For a moment, Rumple was confused. He hadn't planned on letting her try again, he just couldn't risk it. It hadn't occurred to him that she'd want to keep trying.

When he didn't respond, Belle knew what he was thinking. "I'm going to figure it out, Rumple," she said, her voice telling him she knew all the doubts he had.

He began to shake his head. "No, it's too dangerous Belle," he said, and when she tried to respond, he added, "I can't ask you to risk yourself."

"You aren't asking," she said, "I'm offering," and gave him a sly smile.

"Well Madame," he said dramatically, "I must decline your generous offer." Seeing the look of disappointment on her face, his smile faded, and he said more seriously, "Belle, I can't let you risk your life like that. I don't know if I can keep you safe, and I will not let anything happen to you. We'll find another way, don't worry about it."

Belle had been shaking her head the whole time. "No, I'm not going to give up that easily. I can do this, I know I can." Seeing his unhappy look, she went on. "You told me when this whole thing started that I needed to have faith in you. Even though neither of us knew what laid ahead, I believed we'd figure it out together. Now I'm asking you to have that faith in me. I can figure this out, you just have to believe in me. Can you do that?"

Despite himself, Rumple blinked back tears and nodded. He hadn't meant to agree to that, but how could he tell the woman he loved that he didn't believe in her? It wasn't that he didn't think she could do it, it was that he was afraid of what would happen if she went too far. But how could he deny her now?

Seeing his nod, Belle smiled a sweet, tired smile at him and laid her head back down on the pillow. Within a few minutes, she was asleep. Rumple slowly stood up, and looked at his sleeping wife. "I hope you're right Belle," he whispered. He gave her a soft, gentle kiss on the head, and then walked over to the hearth to stroke the fire.

As he stared into the fire, Rumple contemplated casting a spell to make Belle forget the past few days. That way, he could take her back to before she had known about Merlin's deal, before she had decided to learn magic. That would make his life a lot easier, and be a lot safer for her.

_What would Belle think? _He asked himself, knowing the answer. She'd be furious, and rightly so. Rumple knew he needed to stop lying to her, but if he did it to keep her safe, was that really bad? Was that really such a terrible thing to do?

Even though he justified it to himself, Rumple knew Belle wouldn't approve. If he had to lie to keep her safe, then he didn't deserve her. And, if he was honest with himself, he knew he didn't deserve her. But she wouldn't care. She never cared what other people thought of them, or whether or not he deserved her. They loved each other, and that was all that mattered.

So if he loved her, why did he find it so hard to tell her the truth? To stop lying to her? Was it just bad habits, or was there something more?

Self-reflection had never been one of Rumple's strongest qualities, so he walked away from the fire and went downstairs to find something to do. Whatever he did, he knew he needed to tell Belle the truth. Casting a spell on her wasn't the answer, it was the easy way out. Although he was accustomed to taking the easy way out, Rumple knew it wasn't the right thing to do, and not what Belle would want.

But it still worried him. What if he couldn't protect her? What if something else happened, something he couldn't control? What if something happened, and he lost her forever?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The next morning, Rumple woke up early. He glanced toward the window and saw that the sun had barely risen over the eastern horizon, it was just barely dawn. After a long stretch, he rose and walked to the window. Looking out, he saw that winter was beginning to stretch its icy grasp over the land; the first frost of the season had set.

Unintentionally, he shivered and backed away from the window. He glanced toward the bed to make sure Belle was still asleep, and then grabbed his shoes before making his way down the cold, damp stairwell.

Rumple went all the way down into the basement of the castle, into the rooms he had once used as a dungeon. Without a conscious plan in mind, he walked over to the cabinet on which he had once stored all the spells he had bottled up for later use. Some of them were still there, others had since fallen off the shelf and broken or been stolen while he was away.

As his gaze ran over the aged wood of the cabinet, he stopped on the most recently empty spot on the shelf. It was the spot where he had once kept the vial of true love that he had bottled from the Charmings, and had since used to help Belle learn magic. _The most powerful magic of all, _he thought sarcastically to himself. When he had first bottled it, he knew it was powerful, and he knew he wanted the power. But for what, he hadn't really known. He never had an actual plan of how he was going to use it, and then the curse came and he hadn't gotten a chance to actually make use of the bottled magic.

Looking back, he was surprised to find that he had held onto it that long. He had worked so hard to find a way to bottle true love, and then never used it? Why? Had it all been planned, had he somehow knew he'd need it in the future? Rumple laughed to himself and shook his head. Self-reflection wasn't his strong suit, and, as romantic as it was, he knew he hadn't really planned ahead, he'd just never needed it. He'd had all the power he needed, and had never had a use for the potion. Until recently, that is.

Continuing to search the shelf, Rumple kept going until he found the vial he'd been looking for. It was his prized possession, one that no one else knew he had obtained, and he grinned as he looked at its shining contents. It was the only light magic he had ever owned, until he had bottled true love. The only light magic he had and had never used. Now, though, he had need of it as well.

Rumple picked up the vial, a smile of smug satisfaction crossing his face. Pixie dust. Light magic. He'd obtained it from a disgraced fairy, without her knowledge of course. Rumple studied the contents of the vial, not sure exactly how to go about what he needed to do.

His magic was more powerful than light magic, of that he was sure. But if light magic was cast, would his magic be able to stop it? That was the question he didn't have an answer to, and the one that haunted him every time he thought of Belle using her magic. If she got in too deep, could he do anything to stop her? Would his dark magic even have any power over hers? He simply didn't know, but he was determined to find out.

Rumple went over to the counter that held all his spell items, and picked up a book. _As good as anything else, I suppose, _he thought. Rumple took a deep breath, and tried not to think about what he would do if this didn't work.

Impatient to get his answers, Rumple opened the vial of pixie dust and poured it onto the book. For an agonizing second nothing happened, and Rumple became increasingly impatient. But, as he watched, the old covers of the book began to move, and then it started to float away.

Rumple knew where it was going. The pixie dust he had taken had the power to return an object to the person or place it belonged to, like a locator spell, but much more powerful. The book he had chosen for this experiment was Henry's Storybook. If Rumple's dark magic wasn't able to stop the pixie dust, the book would travel realms and return itself, presumably, to Henry.

Rumple began to follow the book, waiting for the opportune moment to cast a spell to counteract the pixie dust. He didn't want to wait too long, or else the book would simply disappear from that realm, but he worried that if he did it too soon he wouldn't know if the pixie dust hadn't worked or if his magic had done the job.

As he got ready to cast his spell, Rumple noticed something odd. The book continued to float away. Why hadn't it tried to cross realms yet? Rumple warily began to follow it, confused. If the pixie dust was working, the book should have stayed in the same general area as it tried to cross realms, but it hadn't.

Forgetting about his original plan for the moment, Rumple curiously followed the floating book as it took him out of the cellar and up the stairs. It travelled the length of the hallway, and then made the turn into their bedroom.

Rumple ran after it, afraid it would wake up his sleeping wife. As he too turned the corner into their room, he was disappointed to find he'd been right; the book had plopped itself down on top of Belle, and, picking it up, she was drowsily gazing at Rumple in confusion.

Not knowing what to do, Rumple just stood there, returning Belle's confused gaze. Belle yawned and blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the waking world before asking, "What's going on Rumple?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. Instead, he answered her with a question of his own. "That's Henry's book, correct?"

Belle nodded. "Yes, I borrowed it from him before we left." She yawned again and sat up straighter, and then shivered when the covers fell from her shoulders.

Rumple walked to the bed and took the book from her hands. "This doesn't make sense," he said, more to himself than to her.

"What doesn't make sense?"

Rumple hadn't heard her. He suddenly turned and walked out of the bedroom, taking the book back down to the cellar for closer inspection.

Belle sighed, figuring this was one of those times where she'd have to figure out his plans by herself and then explain them back to him to see if she was right. With one final yawn, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and got up. The chamber was cold, so she found the thickest robe in the wardrobe, and put on her slippers before following her husband down the stairs.

When she finally found Rumple in the cellar, the book was lying on the table and he stood over it, inspecting it. Much as he had done to her, Belle walked over and took the book, turning away and inspecting it herself. She didn't know what she was looking for, she really just hoped doing something would get Rumple to tell her what was going on.

"You know," she mused, "This book always has a curious way of finding people. I once asked Mary Margaret where she found it, and you know what she told me?"

Rumple shook his head, not realizing that he was behind her and she couldn't see. He was annoyed that she was interrupting, but he knew better than to say so.

Regardless of whether he wanted her to continue or not, Belle did. "She told me she just found it one day, in her closet. She said she'd looked there thousands of times, and never once had this book been there. It was as if she found it just on the day that she knew Henry needed it, or, more accurately, as if it had found her."

Belle smiled at the memory. "Books have a way of doing that. You know," she said, smiling even more, and turning to face Rumple. "When I was little, there was a day when I thought my world was turning upside down. It was one of the worst days of my life, and in order to escape it I went to my father's library. In there, I found a book. It was a story of a young girl, going through much the same thing I was going through. And, reading it, I knew I'd be okay." Belle was thoroughly engrossed in the memory now, so she didn't see that, despite her interruption, Rumple was now smiling, too.

"It was like the book knew it had just the story I needed. Like it found me…" She trailed off, and, looking down at the book she held in her hand, she marveled at how much one story could mean to someone.

As Rumple watched his wife hold the book as if it were her prized possession, he smiled, and, walking around the table over to her, he put his hand on the book. "And this book, it found Henry at just the right time. If it hadn't, the curse never would have been broken." Belle nodded absently, lost in the thought of all the books she had read over her life time.

Rumple's thoughts, though, were solidly in the present. What if the pixie dust had worked, had returned the book to its owner? It had gone to Belle, not to Henry. Of course, Belle was the one who had brought the book into this realm, so did that make her its owner here? Why else would it go to her?

"Rumple," Belle's concerned voice interrupted his musings, and he looked at her. She wasn't looking at him; she was looking at the book. "You might want to take a look at this," she said warily.

Rumple glanced down at the book in her hands, and saw that she had turned to the last section of the book. It was blank. Suddenly uncertain, Rumple took the book from Belle and began frantically flipping the pages. The book ended, once again, with the curse being broken. The last section was gone.

"The part about Merlin," Belle said warily, "It's gone."

Rumple wasn't listening. The story had changed, which meant something had made it so that Merlin had never even been in their realm. The Wizard had lied to him. He had broken their deal. And now he was gone.

How could he have let this happen? Angrily, Rumple picked up the closest item at hand, which happened to be an empty vase, and flung it against the wall. Dropping the book, he stormed out of the room and up the stairs.

Belle flinched as he flung the door shut behind him, and then hurried over and picked up the book. "What have we gotten ourselves into?" she asked of no one in particular. Gently gathering the book up into her arms, Belle hurried out the door and up the stairs after her husband.

When she reached the main hall, she was disappointed to find it empty. "Rumple?" she called, not sure where he could have gone. "Rumple, where are you?"

The hall was silent for a few seconds, and then Belle heard the sound of a strong wind coming from the window. Running over to it, she flung the window open, and saw a Rumple outside, surrounded by a swirling purple storm cloud of magic. He was shouting, but Belle couldn't make out the words. Distraught, Belle put the book down on the nearest table and ran outside.

"Rumple!" she shouted, but he never heard her. Braving the storm, Belle ran into the purple cloud until it enveloped her and she could no longer see. Trying to get her bearings, Belle followed the sound of Rumple's voice until she nearly ran into him.

Grabbing his shoulders, she shook him, trying to get him to notice her. "Rumple!" She shouted again. "Rumple, what are you doing?"

Eventually her shaking disrupted Rumple's concentration, and he reluctantly gave up the spell and looked at her in anger. "What are you doing?" He yelled, unaware that he had echoed her own question. "You're in my way!"

Not afraid of his rage, Belle spat, "That's the point! I'm going to keep being in your way until you calm down and tell me what is going on!"

The look on her face was one Rumple had seen before, and it brought up a particularly unhappy memory for him. That look told him he needed to get control of himself and be honest with her, or risk losing her as he had before.

But it wasn't enough. Rumple wasn't ready to heed any emotion but anger. Anger was what had gotten him so far in this land. It was the driving force behind his power; his rage had sustained him. Now that he hit a roadblock in his mission, he needed the anger to allow himself to feel powerful enough to overcome that, and it never crossed his mind that Belle wouldn't understand that.

What she did understand, though, was the look on _his _face. It told her she wasn't getting through. He wasn't listening, but she kept trying. "Rumple, tell me what is going on! Why did you have the book this morning, and why is it blank? What are you trying to do?"

Though she meant well, her questions only annoyed him further. Rumple angrily shook her hands off his shoulders and stalked back toward the castle.

Belle let out a frustrated sigh and followed quickly after him. When she had caught up, she said, calmer now, "Rumple, please tell me, what's wrong?"

Rumple wasn't ready to let go of the anger. Turning to face her, he yelled, "I don't know!" and then disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

For a moment, Belle wasn't sure what had happened. She just stood there, staring at the space he had been standing in a moment before, and then slowly began to realize what had just happened.

He'd left. He'd left her in a fit of fury, and she had no idea where he had gone. And wherever he was, she couldn't be there to comfort him, to calm him down. No, he had left on purpose, had wanted to be alone with his anger.

Just as Rumple had predicted, Belle didn't understand. She didn't see why he needed the anger. She'd always been guided by common sense and a level head, and she used that to balance out his fits of rage. Now, though, he had chosen to be alone.

Belle wasn't sure if she should be angry or sad, or what she should feel. Her initial reaction was anger that he had left her. If he was that upset, then something important was going on, and he hadn't bothered to include her, hadn't even told her what was wrong. Then, she was sad, knowing that he had given in to his inner darkness once again, and had deliberately left so she couldn't be there to help him, to stop him.

Slowly walking back inside the castle, Belle sighed. "Oh, Rumple. Why won't you let me in?" She wished he had the courage to do so, and she had always held on to the hope that one day he would overcome his need for power and let her in. Deep inside, though, she knew it was hopeless. The darkness would always be a part of him, and she wouldn't be able to change that, as much as she wanted to believe she could.

Steeling herself, Belle refused to let herself cry. She couldn't give in to her emotions, or she wouldn't be in any better shape than he was. Taking a deep breath, Belle remembered the book she had set down on the table earlier.

Returning to it, Belle opened it up and flipped to the last few pages. To her surprise, they seemed to be moving. Belle stood there, rapt, and watched as storied formed on their pages, and then she smiled. The picture was of Rumple, and he was approaching the Queen's castle. He was going to confront Merlin.

Belle smiled, proud of herself. "See," she said to herself, "A calm head and a good book solve most people's problems." She laughed then, and glanced down at the book.

"Well," she said with a sigh, "I'm going to find you, Rumple." She closed her eyes then, and pictured the Queen's castle. She brought back all the anger and sadness she had felt a moment before, and prepared herself to use her magic and follow in her husband's footsteps.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Belle knew something had happed, but for a long moment she didn't open her eyes. She wasn't consciously sure why, but she felt dread creeping into her, and she shivered. Wherever she was, it was cold, and she could tell through the lack of light penetrating her eyelids that it was dark.

Hoping for the best but fearing the worst, Belle slowly opened her eyes. She had been right, it was dark. And damp, too. She was surrounded by dark brick walls, and it reminded her of the time she had spent in the Queen's tower as her prisoner. Shivering again, Belle pushed her memories to the back of her mind and tried to get ahold of herself.

_Where am I? _She wondered. She had meant to end up in the Queen's castle, but she didn't know if it had worked. Obviously, her magic had taken her somewhere, but she wasn't able to control it well enough to know exactly where she had gone.

Realizing that she wasn't going to get any answers just standing there, Belle approached the large wooden door that resembled the one that had kept her locked away from the rest of the world for so very long. She reached for the handle, but hesitated before her hand reached it. What could be on the other side of that door? Did she really want to find out?

Regardless of her fears, Belle knew what she had to do, and took a deep breath, letting her hand fall slowly onto the brass handle of the door. _Be brave, Belle, _she told herself, _you can do this. _Slowly, Belle turned the handle and gently pushed the door open. She winced when it gave a loud squeak, and then froze until the echoes of it had receded down the stairwell that was in front of her.

_So I am in the tower. _The realization wasn't a welcome one. Belle had no desire to be back in this place. Consciously, she knew it meant nothing. The Queen wasn't here; no one was going to lock her in the tower any more.

But subconsciously, she couldn't help but feel afraid. This was the room that she had been held captive, the place where she had felt the most powerless she had ever been. Even when she had been in the dungeon of the Dark Castle, she knew she had leverage over her gaoler. But here, in this room, she had known she was a prisoner, and she had no chance of ever escaping. Memories like that don't just fade away.

Belle stood there for a moment, in the doorway of the room she had been locked in. _You need to face your fears, _she told herself, willing herself to be as heroic as the heroes in the stories. Steeling herself against her fears, Belle picked her head up, turned around, and walked back into the room. She cautiously walked over to the wall where her cot had been, and found it was still there.

She sat down on it, and then she looked at the wall above it. It was too dark to see anything, so she ran her hand across the wall, feeling the grooves from where she had tried to keep track of the days during her confinement.

When her hand hit the last of the grooves, Belle turned and looked once more at the door. The door she had watched anxiously for days, always hoping it would open, but fearing who might come through. Belle closed her eyes and remembered the days she had spent here, and how much she had changed throughout the time. At first, she had been convinced someone would come to rescue her, either Rumple or Gaston or her father, but someone. Every time the door began to open she had hoped it was someone who would get her away from here, get her back to the people she loved.

Then, as the days dragged on, she began to lose hope. When the door would creak open, she stopped looking up in hope, getting annoyed with the way the guards laughed at her when they brought her meals and saw the disappointment on her face.

Then, as she struggled to cling onto the last of her hope, the pirate had come. He had come looking for a way to kill the Dark One. Most of her memories of that day and the following few were fuzzy, but Belle knew that was the moment she had lost all hope. If the pirate had killed Rumple, no one was ever going to come save her. And, if they did, he would be gone. What would she have to go back to? An arranged marriage to a man she didn't love?

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got, and Belle lost track of the time she had spent reliving the worst part of her life. As painful as it was, she found she felt better afterward. Her time in the Queen's Castle was a demon she had never had the courage to deal with, and now that she had the chance to be honest with herself about it, she felt better.

But she also felt angry. Angry that Regina had locked her in here for years, and yet she lived happily in Storybrooke with her son. Angry that Hook had hurt her, more than once, and threatened Rumple, and yet he got to have Emma. And she and Rumple lost Neal. How was that fair?

As Belle began to give in to her anger, she noticed the room get brighter. Surprised, she pulled herself out of her reverie, and glanced down at her hands. They were glowing! Belle was confused for a minute, until she realized what was happening.

She was letting her emotions control her, and when she did that she let her magic control her, too. Afraid of what she might do, Belle stood up and walked out of the room as quickly as she could, watching in relief as the glowing magic in her hands faded away into the darkness.

Taking a deep breath, Belle saw only one option available to her, so she began to walk down the old spiral staircase in front of her. She didn't know where to go; she wasn't even familiar with the layout of the castle, but she figured walking around was better than sitting in the tower doing nothing.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Belle tried to come up with some sort of cohesive plan. What was she looking for? Well, Rumple had come here to confront Merlin about the changing ending of the book, and she had followed him. So, what, was she looking for signs of his magic? Signs that he'd been here, or was still here?

Or should she try to find Merlin instead? She had met him that day by the stream, but he had just looked like an old man. Belle had no idea if that was what he really looked like or not, she figured it could have been a disguise.

Belle wandered around for a while, but she never came across a single sign that anyone had been there. Sighing, Belle reached into the bag she had brought with her and pulled out Henry's book. It had told her to come here, so maybe it had some information on what to do next, too.

Belle flipped through the book hopefully, but when she reached the end, the pages were once again blank. It ended with the picture of Rumple appearing in a magical storm at the castle, but after that there was nothing.

But something was different. Before, when Belle had first found the ending of the book to be blank, the pages had been white. Now they were black. Frowning, Belle flipped all the way to the back, and was dismayed to find that all the pages were dark. It was as if the book had been converted to dark magic.

But that was ridiculous, right? The book had been a part of the curse, so it had to have been created with dark magic in the first place. But, it had been the way the curse was going to be broken, so maybe it was an element of light magic? And dark magic had taken it over?

The more she thought about it, the more her theories sounded ridiculous. Belle had no idea how the book worked, or what kind of magic it was. _You have a lot to learn, _she chastised herself. She wished that before she had gotten herself into all this she had done proper research. She should have read some books, asked more questions, something. But it had all happened so fast, and she was so determined to help save Baelfire that it hadn't really occurred to her to spend time researching magic.

_No use spending time regretting it now, _she sighed to herself. Putting the book back in her bag, Belle continued to wander around the castle, not sure what she would find.

As she approached the main hall, however, Belle remembered what Rumple had told her about Merlin's plans. He needed a book. And it was in the Queen's library. That's where she needed to go! Belle smiled as she realized she had the beginnings of a plan, and looked at her surroundings with new purpose.

After a second of enthusiasm, however, Belle realized one fatal flaw in that plan: she had no idea where the library was. Moreover, it was said to be shrouded by magic, so only someone with magic equally as powerful could find it. Belle was sure her magic wasn't that powerful.

Disappointed, she frowned, and then turned and walked out onto a balcony that was off the side of the great hall. She hugged her cloak tighter around her as she walked out into the autumn air, and looked at the surrounding countryside. It was a spectacular view, but there wasn't much to see anymore. The land really had been ravaged by the ogre wars.

Ogres weren't Belle's favorite topic of conversation, so she shook her head and walked back into the castle. Just as she did so, she heard a loud bang come from her right, and she instinctively jumped.

Once the initial shock passed, Belle grew curious, and hurried down the corridor to her right. She ran into two large wooden doors, held together with two spears crossed through the handles. Frowning, Belle pulled on the bottom of the left spear, and was relieved when it gave way without too much effort.

When she had cleared the spears out of the way, Belle threw open the doors and blinked when she was confronted by a bright light. The entire castle had been utterly dark, and Belle's unaccustomed eyes squeezed shut.

She opened them to slits, trying to see, but the light was so blinding she couldn't make out anything. She was aware of searing heat hitting her face and arms, and she began to back toward the door she had come through. Against her natural instincts, however, Belle forced herself to stay where she was and open her eyes a little at a time as she struggled to adjust to the light.

Suddenly, however, the light dimmed until its brightness was bearable, and the heat died away as well. Belle opened her eyes, and when she did, she gasped. "Rumple?!" She called. The figure in the corner of the room was her husband, but the look on his face was one that instantly filled her with foreboding.

"Belle!" He yelled back. "Belle, what are you doing here?"

"Oh Rumple!" She yelled, running to him. "I followed you?" Seeing his look get even darker as she approached, Belle slowed down until she came to a stop right in front of him "What's wrong?" she asked, and he glanced at the floor. "Rumple, what's going on?'

The agonized look on his face filled Belle with fear, and she reached out to put her hand on his shoulder. When she did, however, her hand went through him. "Rumple?" She cried, realizing he was starting to fade.

"I'm so sorry, Belle," he whispered, "I failed. Come find me, Belle…" And then he was gone.

For a shocked second Belle just stood there. "Rumple?" she whispered, but the room had gone black, and he was gone yet again.


End file.
